I've been a proponent of affirmative action for years, believing that it is necessary to help overcome prejudices and that diversity is a fine thing. I also have supported the idea that this country owes its minority populations a bit of a boost after keeping them under its thumb for so many decades.

But suddenly, as I have children applying for admission to graduate schools, I have a different perspective. All at once, I find it difficult to be objective about the pros and cons of making race a plus point in the admission rating system.My son and daughter are just plain, white kids with ancestors who made the trip here from Western European countries a couple of generations ago. We've joked that maybe Karras could pass for a Hispanic surname, but actually it's just Greek, and Greeks have never been the victims of discrimination worth protesting.

They are very bright young adults. I mention this only as necessary data to make a point, not to establish bragging rights. They are both recipients of the University of Utah Presidential Scholarship, an award that has paid for four years of study for each of them. Of course, they had to maintain a 3.7 grade-point average on a 4.0 scale in order to keep the scholarships, while some other students, including athletes, don't - but that's a different column.

They are in the process of studying for and taking the standardized admissions tests for graduate school and dental school, and they've done a lot of research on their chances of getting into the top schools. At the risk of making a gross understatement, I'll just say it's very competitive.

Leaving such schools as Harvard and Stanford out of the equation, the odds against being admitted to the school of your choice are about 350 to 1. On a good day.

Everything counts: what undergraduate university you attended and what your grades were, your scores on the standardized tests, your extracurricular activities, community service, research experience, work published. All of that is expected.

What you don't expect, after working for years to be among the top students in every area, is that another applicant may get admitted, though his qualifications are no better, because he is a member of a recognized minority group.

It's one thing to believe in the ideals behind affirmative action and quite another thing to watch your own children struggle to overcome the disadvantage of being white.

Admissions officers say race alone will not get a person admitted, but documents being used as evidence in lawsuits against universities in Texas and Michigan show that a white student with the same grades and test scores as a minority student will be put on a waiting list for admittance, while the minority student is accepted.

Statistics show there are many fewer minority students who have that level of grades and scores, so the actual number admitted over comparable white students is not large. But when it comes down to a personal level, and it may be just one child - yours - who loses despite all his hard work, it's tough to continue believing in the system.

There are a few minority-community leaders who believe affirmative action hurts minority students by establishing lower expectations for them. They say all students should be forced to compete on the same level and that doing away with affirmative action will - eventually - force minority students to meet the higher standards.

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But in the meantime, there will be fewer students of color in our universities, especially in graduate programs and at the better schools. A lack of diversity hurts everyone, not only the minority students themselves.

After a struggle of conscience, I've concluded that I still favor a form of affirmative action, but one that also addresses the inequities earlier in a child's educational career.

Elementary school classes for gifted students, instead of college admission boards, should give plus points to minorities and disadvantaged students of any race. Help should be offered to students who struggle because of language or cultural barriers. By the time students are ready to apply to college, the playing field already should be more level.

Until society accepts responsibility for making early education more equal for all groups, I'm willing to accept the consequences of affirmative action for my own children. I'm confident they will deal with its effects and welcome diversity at whatever school they eventually attend.

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