It's the law of averages in action. First we had the good movie on a sinking boat (that would be "Titanic"), and now we get the bad one on a foundering ship, in the form of "Deep Rising."
OK, maybe it's not a fair exchange. Admittedly, "Titanic" fell somewhat short of greatness, but "Deep Rising" falls far, far short of achieving even badness.
The last time there was a horror movie this awful was . . . well, last year's "Anaconda."
In fact, "Deep Rising" resembles that film very closely in form and execution, with the sickeningly splattery goo and gore of "Starship Troopers" and the cheesy B-movie
heroics of "The Poseidon Adventure" thrown in.
Like "Anaconda," this hokey monster-at-sea movie is an unintentionally hilarious romp that follows an outmatched cast of survivors trying to kill a seemingly unkillable, computer-generated menace. But this time, the cast is also outnumbered, facing a vicious pack of slithering sea beasts that have turned a luxury cruiseship into a floating refrigerator.
The crisis has made unlikely allies of some seagoing mercenaries. Led by Finnegan (Treat Williams), they are modern-day pirates trying to plunder the luxury liner — including Wes Studi and "Amistad's" Djimon Hounsou, and the ship's survivors include a beautiful jewel thief named Trillian (Famke Janssen, from "GoldenEye").
Unfortunately for them, the snakelike beasts seem to be everywhere; in the ship's cooling ducts, in passageways — even in toilets! And to make matters worse, Finnegan's ship — apparently the only means of escaping certain death — is badly in need of repairs.
Perhaps the biggest surprise is that this mess comes from writer/
director Stephen Sommers, whose previous work includes the family films "Rudyard Kipling's The Jungle Book" and "Tom and Huck." Granted, they weren't wonderful, but they're Oscar-caliber in comparison with this.
And most of the cast members are so over-the-top they're hilarious — and not for the reasons Sommers intended. Williams is particularly smug and pompous, while Kevin J. O'Connor, who plays Finnegan's sarcastic mechanic, actually whines more than Bill Paxton did in "Aliens."
"Deep Rising" is rated R for violent monster attacks and gunfire, gruesomely gory makeup and special effects, considerable profane language, some vulgar gestures and sex talk, and brief glimpses of nude centerfold photos.