If there's a lesson to be learned from "Desperate Measures," it's that it is definitely possible for a movie to get more ludicrous with each passing minute.
Not to say this "serial-killer-gets-loose-in-a-hospital" flick is dumb, but it's filled with a series of plot twists that are so ridiculous that even made-for-TV movie scripters wouldn't touch them with a 10-foot pole.
And speaking of ridiculous, it's hard to imagine what possessed Andy Garcia, Michael Keaton and Marcia Gay Harden ("The Spitfire Grill") to be in the film, except for big paychecks. The participation of director Barbet Schroeder ("Reversal of Fortune," "Kiss of Death") is easier to explain — he also produced this witless dud.
Garcia stars as Frank Connor, a San Francisco detective desperate to save his 8-year-old son, Matt (Joseph Cross), who's been diagnosed with leukemia. Unfortunately, Matt's doctors (including Harden, playing a sympathetic specialist) have been unable to find any donors for a life-saving, bone marrow transplant, so Frank begins his own search for possible donors among the local prison population (yeah, right).
He finally finds an "acceptable" donor in the person of Peter McCabe (Keaton), a sociopathic killer, who initially rejects his request. But after a face-to-face meeting with the boy, McCabe says he wants to seek "redemption" and agrees to help.
However, once the procedure actually begins, McCabe escapes and quickly takes command of the hospital. That forces Frank to become McCabe's unwilling partner, who prevents police snipers from killing the man who may be his son's only hope.
As mentioned, the situations become increasingly preposterous as the plot "advances," with McCabe taking the boy hostage, McCabe escaping through the city's sewer system and Frank and McCabe engaging in a high-speed car chase through the city.
None of the situations are even slightly believable, and to make matters worse, Schroeder and his cast treat screenwriter David Klass' dopey developments with deadly earnestness, which makes them even more laughable.
(For instance, it's really stretching credibility to try to make us believe there's any police agency in the world that would give Garcia's character so much freedom in pursuing his personal agenda.)
The two stars don't seem too inspired either. Garcia eventually stops masking his natural accent and delivers his lines so woodenly that he sounds combustible. Keaton's slight accent keeps drifting in and out, and he conveniently seems to forget that his character has an injured leg and stops limping.
"Desperate Measures" is rated R for violent gunfights and brutal action, extensive use of profane language, brief hospital gore and a couple of vulgar gags.