If ever there was a movie looking for a lawsuit, it's "Velvet Goldmine."
This half-baked musical-drama-fantasy is supposed to be fictional, but some of its characters bear a too-striking resemblance to real-life musicians David Bowie and Iggy Pop. And the odd plot makes so little sense that even Oliver Stone couldn't decipher its more cryptic moments.
What's worse is the film's failure to explain why its subject, the '70s musical movement known as glam-rock (which spawned Bowie, T-Rex, Roxy Music and others) was so influential, or even why it came about.
Also, it's hard to say whether filmmaker Todd Haynes was actually trying to elicit snickers. But considering that parts of the dialogue (and some of the performances) are so howlingly bad, it's pretty obvious that audiences will think so.
The story is told largely through flashbacks, as journalist Arthur Stuart (Christian Bale) tries to learn what happened to Brian Slade (Jonathan Rhys Meyers), a once-influential glam-rocker who disappeared without a trace after faking his death in the mid-'70s.
Arthur tracks down several of Brian's closest friends — including Brian's ex-wife (Toni Collette) and manager (Michael Feast) — for clues to the man's whereabouts. But instead he begins recalling his own past, which is also tied to glam-rock, and to Slade's one-time companion, American rocker Curt Wild (Ewan McGregor).
To call the film sex-obsessed would be an understatement. There's almost more attention paid to the sex scenes than the musical interludes, which dominate the picture.
And in addition to its unashamed appropriations from real people (it's far too obvious that Slade is mean to be Bowie, while Wild is very Pop-like), Haynes brazenly copies the story structure of "Citizen Kane."
Of course, it doesn't help that there's no real effort to develop the characters. Without exception, they're just shallow mannequins, which Bale and Rhys Meyers worsen with their wooden performances.
Still, the movie does have an arresting visual style, and the music (both the original style re-creations and authentic glam-rock pieces) is very good.
"Velvet Goldmine" is rated R for full male and female nudity, simulated sex (between gay and straight couples), profanity, crass sex talk and use of vulgar slang, simulated drug use, violent gunplay and brief gore.