A couple of weeks ago, I promised to stop writing columns about "Titanic." I even started referring to it without using the actual title.
However, I've been forced to take that back and am now resolving to write at least one "Titanic" column item per week for the foreseeable future.Why the sudden change of heart, you ask? There are just so many good stories about the film out there (including scandalous gossip about director James Cameron and mem-bers of the cast). And the movie remains firmly lodged in the box-office top 10 nearly six months after opening in theaters.
The latest tidbit is the announcement that screenwriter Pat Proft ("Hot Shots! Part Deux," "High School High" and the upcoming "Fugitive" spoof "Wrongfully Accused") is now working on a "Titanic" parody. It's called "Titanic Too - It Missed the Boat."
Proft is promising to tell "the iceberg's side of the story."
While that sounds mildly amusing, the casting news is not so merry. Evidently Proft (who is also directing) has recruited David Hasselhoff and Priscilla Presley to play the leads. Need I say more?
Meanwhile, New Line Cinema has green-lighted its own "Titanic"-based comedy, called "Gigantic." And various Internet news sites are reporting that Leslie Nielsen has been approached to play the captain of that film's ill-fated vessel.
Some movie buffs may remember that this isn't the first time Nielsen has gone down with the ship. He played the skipper in the disastrous 1972 disaster flick "The Poseidon Adventure."
Of course, the difference is that he played the role dramatically in "The Poseidon Adventure," which was unintentionally hilarious.
In "Gigantic," Nielsen will be acting goofy, but it's doubtful he'll get more laughs.
- WHERE THERE'S SMOKE THERE'S A MOVIE: Even an electrical fire can't stop the new cinematic "Godzilla."
Last weekend, a blaze broke out in the Trolley Corners complex, causing an estimated $100,000 in damages. But the Cineplex Odeon theater located in the building hardly skipped a beat.
Though the theater canceled its Sunday showings, it re-opened for a special promotional screening of "Godzilla" Monday night, as well as the early bird showings of the film on Tuesday.
And speaking of the "Godzilla" screening, it was the first promotional event in the newly refurbished Trolley Corners theater since its ancient, dilapidated back-breaking seats were replaced - a move that has revived Cineplex Odeon's ailing "showplace."
For one thing, the irritating "rocking" feature of the old seats has been eliminated - meaning you no longer have to worry about "wearing" the person in the row in front of you. There's finally enough leg room for normal-size adults.
Now if only the chain would do something about the torture devices, er chairs, in its Crossroads Plaza Cinemas.
- AN ADVERTISEMENT BY ANY OTHER NAME: With commercial spots that precede showings of films and product placements that are in them, the line between advertising and cinema is getting more blurry by the day.
Now comes word that Dimension Films has struck a $30 million marketing and promotional campaign with Tommy Hilfiger Corp. for the sci-fi thriller "The Faculty," from writer Kevin Williamson ("Scream 2," TV's "Dawson's Creek") and director Robert Rodriguez ("From Dusk Till Dawn").
According to a studio press release, the seven teenage cast members (including Elijah Wood) will be shown wearing Tommy Jeans, both in the movie and in a series of "back to school" magazine and television ads.
It makes you wonder if the fashion designer has script approval. After all, if your company was forking out millions for a movie project, wouldn't you want to have a say in how your product is used?
- QUOTE OF THE WEEK: "It was like trying to pick up a hedgehog. It was bristling with metaphors, and I was concerned about wheth-er or not I could take the audience with me on this journey that would break some of the conventions of mainstream moviemaking. It's not your regular movie. To some degree, the film subverts the movie form itself." - Director Peter Weir, on his decision to make the upcoming black comedy "The Truman Show"