SANDY -- San Francisco 49ers quarterback Steve Young claims that he is the oldest Mormon bachelor on the planet. But Orem's Robert Higginson has him beat by six years.
Unlike Steve, who seems perfectly content with single life, Robert, 43, would give just about anything to finally meet the right woman and slip a wedding ring onto her finger. His search for a bride has to be some kind of a record: Robert has been actively looking for somebody to marry for 25 years.It isn't that he enjoys playing the field. Robert simply hasn't clicked yet with that one soul mate he knows must be out there.
"I'll bet I've asked hundreds of women on dates in the past 25 years," he says. "We'll go out once or twice, then for some reason, it never works out. How come? Well, that's the $64,000 question. If I knew the answer to that question, I'd be one happy man."
Robert wanted to tell his story in Free Lunch because he has tried everything short of offering a reward or putting up a billboard on I-15 to find a little romance.
Matchmaking services? Been there, done that, didn't work. Cruise the Internet dating sites? The last two women he met online stood him up. Attend singles' dances at his church? If he had a dime for every woman he's whirled around the dance floor, he'd be a rich man with a different set of problems.
"To tell you the truth, I've just about given up," says Robert, a somewhat shy, distinguished-looking man with pale blue eyes and dark hair streaked with gray. We're sitting in a quiet booth, slicing into steaks at Stuart Anderson's Black Angus restaurant in Sandy.
"I always thought I would be married by my mid-20s," he says. "I had it all mapped out: college, marriage, raising children, retirement. Now, I'm sort of stuck, just like Bill Murray in the movie, 'Groundhog Day.' Every day, I wake up and it's the same. I'm stuck between college and marriage and there's no sign of moving on."
Actually, Robert was able to skip ahead to retirement three years ago, after delivering mail in Orem for 20 years. A few wise investments left him with a good income, a three-bedroom house and plenty of time on his hands for gardening and hiking in Provo Canyon.
"The only thing missing is somebody to share it with," he says. "I bought my house 10 years ago, thinking I'd have children by now. Father's Day is almost here and that's the toughest day of the year for me. I'd love to be a father, going to Little League games and taking my kids fishing. Whenever I see fathers who are abusive to their children or wives I just want to shake them and say, 'Don't you realize what you have? Don't you realize how lucky you are?' "
The worst part about single life is the isolation, says Robert, who is tired of waking up in a silent household and eating frozen dinners for one person.
"I don't like feeling invisible," he says. "You know, they've studied babies and determined that they would die without human contact. I don't think we ever outgrow that need. People need a hand to hold, a hug. I'd give anything for that. For somebody to grow old with."
This might be a long shot, but I'm willing to bet there is somebody out there ready to give Robert Higginson a chance.
If you're a single woman who enjoys gardening, photography and hiking and can't tolerate one more Saturday night alone with the television, drop Robert a note care of this column and I'll see that he gets it. You never know. With a little luck, perhaps Steve Young can reclaim his title by summer's end.
Have a story? Let's do lunch. E-mail your name, phone number and what's on your mind to (freelunch@desnews.com) or send a fax to 466-2851. You can also write me at the Deseret News, P.O. Box 1257, Salt Lake City, UT 84110.