Showtime's new series "The Hoop Life" is shooting for the title -- but, instead, it tosses up mostly bricks.
Which is not only a shame but somewhat surprising, given the show's subject matter. Who would have thought that the world of professional basketball could be so dull?Billed as a drama set behind the scenes of the New England Knights, "The Hoop Life" is basically a big, crude soap opera that's both uninvolving and predictable.
And this being Showtime, there's nothing to prevent the writers and producers from indulging in their more lurid impulses. "Hoop Life" is replete with full-frontal female nudity, vulgarity and downright lewd sexual sequences that push the boundaries of soft porn.
If you don't cringe at some of the content in this program, I'm at least a little bit worried about you.
The series opens at the end of the UBA season, a season that began with a player lockout and is ending with Game 7 of the Finals between the Knights and the Los Angeles Legends. The game ends amidst both controversy and violence as a non-call gives one team the victory and ignites a bench-clearing brawl.
It's considerably less exciting than that description makes it sound.
The principal characters in "The Hoop Life" include:
Marvin "Big Bucks" Buxton (Mykelti Williamson), a longtime Knights star whose dream of a championship remains unfulfilled.
Greg Marr (Rick Peters), a hot shooter who doesn't let the fact that he's married stop him from tomcatting around constantly.
Owen Davies (Reno Wilson), the L.A. Legends star whose talent is enormous -- but his ego is larger still.
Curtis Thorpe (Cirroc Lofton of "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine"), a high-school basketball star headed straight for the pros.
Leonard Fero (Dan Lauria of "The Wonder Years"), the Knights' high-strung coach with a heart of gold.
The battle between Buxton and Davies sets off the brawl. And it doesn't end there -- despite discipline from the league, the two overpaid stars continue to act childishly throughout the episode.
(As if we aren't already sick to death of millionaire hoopsters acting like petulant children in real life, now we can see them do so in "The Hoop Life.")
Sunday's pilot episode, despite running 90 minutes, suffers from having to do too much with too many characters in too little time. As a result, some characters are barely explored and remain little more than caricatures.
And there are a whole slew of supporting characters to deal with, including the team's general manager (Dorian Harewood), the team's owner (Linda Thorson), young Thorpe's agent/uncle (Ray Anthony Williams), Thorpe's grandmother (Lynda Gravatt) and a sleazy sports agent (Robert Hooks), among others.
(And if you thought Bill Walton was lousy as a sports commentator -- which he is -- wait 'til you see him as an actor. He's lousier still -- and he's playing himself!)
Among the plot lines Sunday's pilot deals with are the sale of the team, a sudden trade, a romance, a broken marriage, various legal problems, ad nauseam.
Not that "The Hoop Life" is all bad. The subplot involving the high-school players is intriguing (although it takes a turn for the predictable), and Lofton -- who generally didn't have a lot to do on "Deep Space Nine" -- acquits himself quite nicely in the part.
But a little bit of Braxton going over the top goes a long way. As does Marr's amoral behavior and Fero's gruff-but-lovable persona.
The basketball sequences are, at best, fanciful. And, at worst, just plain silly. Some of the actors look fairly adept at the game, while others are considerably less so. (Williamson, who appears only slightly more physically fit than your average television critic, is supposed to be one the the country's top basketball players? C'mon!)
Some annoying camera tricks only add to the silliness of it all. And silliness is quite obviously not what Showtime and the show's producers were after.
And speaking of producers, you've got to wonder how "Homicide: Life on the Street" producers Tom Fontana and Barry Levinson got talked into tacking their names onto this project. Oh, it comes from their production company, but they had little (if any) hands-on involvement -- that fell to executive producer Joe Cacaci, whose previous TV experience includes being co-creator of "The Trials of Rosie O'Neill" and the exploitative TV movies "The Betty Broderick Story" and "Her Final Fury."
It doesn't look like "The Hoop Life" is going to be all that impressive on his resume, either.
Showtime is still searching desperately -- and unsuccessfully -- for that signature series that will bring it the sort of attention and acclaim that HBO has found with "The Larry Sanders Show" and "The Sopranos." But "The Hoop Life" definitely isn't it.