Lea Mankowski doesn't know how she will explain it to the children.
Their friend and advocate Allen A. Crandy has died, and she knows they won't understand. Mankowski can barely understand it herself.
"I don't know how to explain it. (Autistic) children don't have a real concept of time," said Mankowski who had known Crandy for about two years. "So, how are you going to explain to them that Allen isn't going to be here anymore when they come in. It's hard enough to explain it to a quote, normal, child."
Crandy was a champion for children with autism, Mankowski said.
Crandy died Wednesday in Salt Lake City, the only fatality from the freakish tornado that demolished portions of the downtown area and the Avenues residential neighborhood.
The 38-year-old Las Vegas man was in town working on staging the annual Outdoor Retailer Summer Market convention. He was one of hundreds in the exhibition tent on South Temple that was shredded in the storm.
"It just blows us away how with all those hundreds of people there, Allen was just the one death," Mankowski said. "That's kind of hard to swallow. I'm sure there's a reason for it, but we're just not privy to the reason."
Funeral services had not yet been planned, although a memorial was being discussed for the middle of next week, she said.
Crandy's youngest daughter, Megan, 6, suffers from the condition, which is a pervasive developmental brain disorder frequently characterized by impairments in social and communication skills.
The disorder is frequently manifested in behavior that may include a lack of eye contact, a preoccupation with inanimate objects, repetitive physical motion and verbal utterances, inappropriate use of language and singsong verbal intonations, Primary Children's Medical Center physician Merrill Kingston said.
"He believed that these kids should get every possible opportunity and should get as far in life as they could and be as whole as they could be," Mankowski said.
And he backed up that philosophy with action.
In 1996, Crandy and his wife of 11 years, Jan, helped form a chapter of F.E.A.T., Families for Effective Autism Treatment, to work with other families of autistic kids.
Earlier this year, Crandy testified before the Nevada Legisature to help secure the passage of Assembly Bill 280, making it illegal for schools and other institutions to use physically adversive techniques in restraining children with disabilities. The bill was signed into Nevada law in June.
"With it, we finally got autism added to the list of disabilities," Mankowski said. "It's just the word, so it's very broad, but it will give the kids more benefits and more opportunity. It's very had to get these kids any services."
A therapist, who works with autistic children, including Megan Crandy, Mankowski has spent much of the past two years watching Crandy work tirelessly to improve his daughter's life.
"He was determined that Megan was going to recover and lead a normal life," she said. "(Parents) all hope it, but Allen was different. He knew it."
In the shadow of her father's determination, Megan has blossomed, Mankowski said. She is smart, funny, loving and, like her father, loved to tell jokes.
"He loved to tell really bad jokes," Mankowski said. "His timing was good, but the jokes were just bad. Usually, you couldn't believe you were laughing at them, but then, with Allen, you were always laughing."
Crandy ran his business and F.E.A.T. from the same building where Mankowski runs her therapy center. On an almost daily basis, she watched Crandy greet the children with hugs and laughter, jokes and encouragement.
"He loved all of those kids," she said.
Crandy's father, Ned Crandy, said that even as a child, his son was a caring person.
"I have five children and they are all good kids, but he was special," a sobbing Ned Crandy said. "I just can't believe he is gone."
Ned Crandy is especially proud of the way his son was crafting his life: building a business, working for autistic causes and caring for his family.
Calling his son a good father, Ned Crandy spoke with pride of how Allen and Jan Crandy adopted both Megan and her sister, Jenny, 7, and said Allen also adopted Jan's 20-uear-old son from her first marriage.
Allen Crandy's business was "just around the corner" from Ned Crandy's home, so the two saw each other frequently. The night before he left for Salt Lake City, Allen Crandy and his family visited with Ned.
"For my birthday my oldest daughter made me a videotape of my life. Allen hadn't seen it, so he came over and we were watching it," Ned Crandy said. "We were laughing and talking about old times."
As the Crandy family left, Allen hugged his dad and told him he loved him.
"We always did that," Ned Crady said. "I told him to come see me when he got home. We had a special bond . . . I just can't get over it."
Nor can anyone who knew Allen Crandy, Mankowski said.
"It's been nonstop around here since it happened. A lot of lives were affected by him and are affected by his death," Mankowski said. "And what do we do now that he's not here? Everyone's just kind of turning around in circles trying to deal with it."
A fund has been established to aid the Crandy family and pay for the continuing cost of therapy for Crandy's autistic daughter.
Contributions can be made to: The Allen A. Crandy Family Relief Fund, Pioneer Citizen's Bank, 8400 W. Lake Mead, Las Vegas, NV 89128, Account: 140016097.