BEDAZZLED —* 1/2 — Brendan Fraser, Elizabeth Hurley, Frances O'Connor, Orlando Jones, Miriam Shor, Paul Adelstein, Toby Huss; rated PG-13 (vulgarity, violence, profanity, brief drug use, partial nudity); Carmike 12 and Ritz 15 Theaters; Century Theatres 16; Cinemark Jordan Landing Theaters; Gateway 8 Cinemas; Loews Cineplex Holladay Center, Midvalley and Trolley Square Mall Cinemas; Megaplex 17 at Jordan Commons.
I wish — Oh, how I wish! — that "Bedazzled" were a better, funnier movie.
But you know what? Even seven useful, non-jinxed wishes couldn't really fix the many problems with this clunker of a comedy, a misbegotten remake of the 1967 British film starring Dudley Moore and Peter Cook (which has become quite a cult hit).
What's so perplexing is the fact that, on paper at least, the new version would seem to have it made. Most of the American moviegoing public hasn't seen the Moore-Cook version, and this one features an attractive, talented cast, as well as a director, Harold Ramis, coming off one of his biggest hits ("Analyze This").
But if Ramis' gimmicky, modern-day remake accomplishes anything, it serves as a reminder as to exactly how great, how sly and subtle the original still is — especially when the two films are held up for comparison.
Things go awry almost at the start, including the casting of hunky Brendan Fraser as Elliot Richards, a nerdy, socially awkward technical-support adviser.
Most of his co-workers can't stand the goofy, overly earnest lug, but that doesn't stop him from falling madly in love with one of them, the beautiful Alison Gardner (Frances O'Connor, from "Mansfield Park"), who doesn't even know he exists.
Desperate for her love, Elliot mistakenly wishes aloud about it. And who should overhear but the Prince of Lies — or to be more accurate, the Princess of Lies herself — Satan (Elizabeth Hurley), who agrees to help him — for a price.
To be more specific, she'll grant him seven wishes in exchange for his soul. What he does with those wishes is up to him, though Satan is secretly sabotaging them to get herself another minion.
For example, Elliot's fantasy about being "rich and powerful" finds him in the role of an embattled Colombian drug lord, while his plea to be "the most sensitive man in the world" goes even more horribly awry. And as the number of wishes dwindles, he finds himself drifting further away from his original goal.
With a strong script, this probably could have been salvaged, but Ramis and two other screenwriters (including veteran Larry Gelbart) instead go for the cheapest possible laughs. But it's a good thing for them that there are no sound effects to accompany the many gags that fall flat here or the noise would be deafening.
In fact, after early test screenings, the cast and crew went back to the set for reshoots and re-editing, which has only made things worse. In particular, the muddled and deadly dull final act feels like it was tacked on at the last minute.
Don't fault the cast here, however. Despite his miscasting, Fraser at least tries to make himself believable as a dork (though he completely slips out of character toward the end).
He and Hurley also seem to be having fun, and they share an easy chemistry — at least more than he and the enigmatic O'Connor have.
"Bedazzled" is rated PG-13 for crude sexual humor, violence (gunplay and some slapstick), scattered profanity (very little of it strong), brief drug use (cocaine) and partial female nudity (Hurley's revealing outfits, as well as some artwork). Running time: 93 minutes.
E-mail: jeff@desnews.com