GOSSIP —* — James Marsden, Lena Headey, Norman Reedus, Kate Hudson, Joshua Jackson, Marisa Coughlan, Eric Bogosian, Edward James Olmos, Sharon Lawrence; rated R (violence, profanity, sex); Carmike 12, Cottonwood Mall and Ritz 15 Theaters; Century Theatres 16; Cinemark Jordan Landing Theaters; Gateway 8 Cinemas; Loews Cineplex Broadway Centre, Midvalley and South Towne Center Cinemas.
Psst. Wanna hear a juicy rumor? Here's a good one: "Gossip" stinks.
And we're not just talking about the abstract concept of that word; we're talking about a supposedly "hip young" thriller that ranks down there with the very worst films released this year.
It's apparent that the filmmakers want so desperately for this work to be like some of the better recent thrillers, such as Danny Boyle's acclaimed debut, "Shallow Grave." However, the only thing it gets right is the "shallow" part.
In fact, the results are so ludicrously bad that they almost defy description. Suffice it to say, the performances, script and direction all seem to be fighting for "worst" dishonors.
Give the slight edge to the convoluted and twist-filled script, though the performances by an attractive but suspect cast would come in a close second.
What story there is revolves around three college-age roommates: spoiled rich kid Derrick (James Marsden), the studious Jones (Lena Headey) and tortured artist Travis (Norman Reedus).
Needing to find a project for an assignment in their mass-media class, the three decide to spread a rumor about sexual activity between two other students — snooty Naomi (Kate Hudson) and her boyfriend Beau (Joshua Jackson) — and then chart how the rumor spreads as it disseminates and becomes increasingly distorted.
The experiment quickly goes awry, however, when Naomi gets wind of the rumblings and accuses Beau of date rape. As the situation worsens, a guilt-ridden Jones considers going to the police, but Derrick — who seems to be enjoying the agony he's causing — talks her out of it.
Suddenly suspicious of her on-again, off-again lover, Jones heads to his hometown and discovers that Derrick and Naomi were high-school sweethearts, as well as other, darker secrets that put a whole new spin on the situation.
Director Davis Guggenheim (television's "ER" and "NYPD Blue") and screenwriter Gregory Pourier ("Rosewood") try to make the film unpredictable by throwing in as many swerves as possible. But they instead succeed only in making things unwatchable.
Equally damaging is the fact that, lacking any really sympathetic characters, there's no tension here. Not that the seemingly uninspired cast is any help in that department.
Of the bunch, only Marsden ("Disturbing Behavior") has an excuse — he's supposed to be unlikable. The worst of the lot might be British actress Headey, sporting an unflattering haircut. (And just what attracted such actors as Eric Bogosian, Sharon Lawrence and Edward James Olmos to this nonsense?)
"Gossip" is rated R for violence (including a brutal fistfight and some slapping, as well as gunplay), occasional use of strong profanity and crude sexual slang and simulated sex. Running time: 90 minutes.
You can reach Jeff Vice by e-mail at jeff@desnews.com