Boxes of Karl Malone's new breakfast cereal turned up at Thursday morning's Jazz practice, but, in an apparent oversight, they forgot the milk.
The cereal is a new brand called MVP FLAKES, and Malone's picture is on the box, but does he deserve it? The NBA is full of outstanding flakes.
What about Allen Iverson? Vernon Maxwell? Half the Sonics' roster? As flakes go, Malone has a long way to go to catch Latrell Sprewell.
Reporters mingled with players in the Jazz practice gym Thursday, primarily to ask the tough, probing questions, such as, what about those MVP Flakes? Just like that, they were cereal journalists.
"They get stuck in your teeth," said Olden Polynice.
The cereal, not journalists.
"How come they bring cereal and they don't bring milk?" he asked.
The Jazz were in a relaxed mood Thursday, the milk problem notwithstanding, and why wouldn't they be? They own a 2-0 lead over the dazed and clueless not-so-SuperSonics. They can wrap up the series with a win Saturday in Seattle. The Jazz didn't even hold practice Wednesday, which we'll take as a sign that a) things are going well, or b) there's just too much time to kill in this silly, made-for-TV schedule, or c) both of the above.
Jerry Sloan repaired tractors and shopped for antiques on the Jazz's day off. Polynice golfed. Malone hiked and fished with the kids. (New theme for the stretched-out schedule: Playoff Fever: Catch . . . Your Limit.) Jeff Hornacek hung out with the kids. Scott Padgett shopped for appliances. (And you thought these guys were just boring on the basketball court.)
The Jazz showed up in a playful mood for Thursday's practice. A reporter asked Hornacek to comment on Jazz assistant coach Kenny Natt and got a blank look in return.
"Who's Kenny Natt?" he asked, with his best deadpan.
These guys are loose. If they were any looser, body parts would fall off. Bryon Russell did a TV gig the other day while slouched in an easy chair, with his feet up. They were lucky he didn't show up in his bathrobe.
Normally, these guys are about as uptight as Bob Dole and not nearly as fun. But this week, John Stockton was actually seen — and there were witnesses — smiling in front of a microphone. This came two days after Jerry Sloan smiled during a game!
There's a wild rumor that the Jazz might even be enjoying themselves this time around.
This is a different Jazz team than we're used to seeing. On or off the court, they're more relaxed. In Game 2, Hornacek made a bank shot while looking at the other basket. That's pretty relaxed. Karl Malone attempted and made a rare three-point shot. Greg Ostertag swatted away shots like Shaquille O'Neal. Stockton even turned into a scorer for a night.
At least so far, the Jazz are treating the playoffs like they ain't no thang. They look like 10 guys on a playground, playing on instinct. Unburdened by expectations for once, the Jazz are in a groove.
In each of the past two seasons, they had to win their last two games just to survive the first round. This year, they've hardly had to break a sweat. They're acting like they've been here before, and, by the way, they have — 16 straight times. They're just playing ball and having one, too. The Lakers carry all the expectations, and they're welcome to them.
Wouldn't it be ironic if Stockton, Malone, Hornacek and Sloan got that elusive ring now, late in their careers, after all the disappointments, when it was least expected, just as it happened for Julius Erving, John Elway and Wilt Chamberlain?
But at Thursday's practice, nobody was worrying if they could win a championship. They were staying loose and pondering more immediate questions such as this one: Where's the milk?