He could live without both. But Kevin Johnson missed the competition and the camaraderie.
So when the phone rang, and Cotton Fitzsimmons was on the other end offering an opportunity to recapture what Johnson has lived without for the past two years, he couldn't help but consider the possibility.
Cancel retirement? Rejoin the Phoenix Suns? Resume an NBA career?
Why not?
Johnson prayed about it, slept on it, then decided to just do it. KJ is back, and it's all because the fingers of Fitzsimmons dialed his number.
"I had felt that for me to play, it would take a very unique situation," Johnson said Wednesday, just prior to flying to Salt Lake City with the Suns for tonight's game against the Jazz. "Certainly I couldn't drum up this situation, the way it presented itself."
Not if he wanted to. And, really, he didn't.
Retirement had been treating Johnson well. He realized he didn't need basketball, the sport that had defined his life until he left the Suns — and the NBA, for good, he thought at the time — after the 1997-98 season. Activities like running in a 10K race satisfied his athletic urges, without either the pressure or the hectic pace of being paid to play.
But then that very unique situation really did present itself.
Phoenix All-Star point guard Jason Kidd snapped his ankle in a March 22 game against Sacramento, just one more crushing blow in an already bizarre season for the Suns.
Cotton reached for the phone. Kevin picked up.
"In the fourth quarter of that game (vs. the Kings) I got a call from (Fitzsimmons, the Suns' senior executive vice president), asking would I consider playing for the remainder of the season and the playoffs," said Johnson, whose playoffs-eligible status as a retiree, not to mention his history with the franchise, made him a more-enticing acquisition than a refugee from either overseas or the CBA. "I was shocked by the call. I indicated to him that I would need a night to think about it, to talk to my family and certainly pray, and that I would let them know first thing in the morning."
A few tosses and turns later, Johnson knew what he had to do.
"When the morning came," he said, "I felt that duty was calling.
"I liken that phone call to when your country calls, and it's time to go serve your country. I felt very similar when the Phoenix Suns organization called me. This was a situation that it was very difficult to say 'No.' I felt that there was a need and I was the only person to fulfill it at this particular time, and I tried to accept the challenges."
Johnson, a University of California product selected seventh overall in the 1987 NBA Draft, has accepted them before.
Besides a career average of 9.2 assists per game, sixth-best in the NBA behind only Magic Johnson, the Jazz's John Stockton, Oscar Robertson, Isiah Thomas and Kidd himself, Johnson is third on Phoenix's list of all-time scoring leaders. He is also the Suns' career leader in eight playoff stat categories, including points (1,997), assists (912) and steals (129).
How hard could it be to come back and play a few more games?
Tougher than he thought, Johnson is finding out the hard way.
"I was in good shape," he said, his own injury-riddled body well-rested with the layoff. "I had been working out very rigorously for the last three months. I wasn't in basketball shape, but I had been working out and I felt I had a good foundation."
Still . . .
"The two toughest things are getting your legs into playing and conditioning shape," Johnson said. "That's the hard thing, and unfortunately you can't speed up that progress and there's nothing you can do away from basketball that is going to get your legs into basketball shape other than playing basketball.
"The second thing that requires a lot of adjusting is timing. That factors in being a step slower, trying to get a handle on the basketball, making good, crisp passes, being able to react both offensively and defensively."
Based on early returns, Johnson is succeeding on both fronts.
He came off the bench to play 26 minutes in Phoenix's 84-83 loss to the NBA-leading Los Angeles on Tuesday night, scoring 14 points on 5-of-7 shooting from the field and dishing four assists. That was the second game back for Johnson, who took some time to simply work out before rejoining the Suns for their 87-86 victory Sunday over Minnesota, a game in which he played 18 minutes, including the entire fourth quarter, and wound up with four points, two rebounds and two assists.
"I felt like it was two years ago," Johnson, 34, said after the game against the Wolves. "Just lace 'em up and play basketball. I tried to be reserved, but it was exciting for me. You want to come back and be part of the camaraderie. This go-round, I'm going to enjoy it more than I did the last 11 years."
It's a much-needed breath of fresh air in Phoenix, which besides Kidd has also had to deal with sagas of Tom Gugliotta and Rex Chapman, not to mention two different head coaches this season.
Gugliotta, shortly after returning from a seizure that nearly killed him, blew out his left knee in the final minutes of a March 10 game against the Jazz. The anterior cruciate and medial collateral ligaments were both completely ruptured. The posterior cruciate ligament was partially ruptured. The medial meniscus was separated, too. The would-be U.S. Olympic team member underwent successful reconstructive surgery March 17, but no timetable is set for his return.
One day later the Suns flew to the Bay Area for a game against Golden State, and before the night was over, Chapman was undergoing surgery to remove his appendix. Three days later Kidd broke the medial malleolus of his left ankle, an injury requiring the implantation of three screws to stabilize the joint.
It was quite a rough 12-day span for the Suns, who earlier this season had Scott Skiles take over as head coach following the unexpected resignation of Danny Ainge. It's been rough health-wise, in fact, all season, for Phoenix, which has lost more than 240 man games to injury and illness. (By comparison, the Jazz have lost nine.)
Johnson's prayers, and sleep, confirmed his initial sense: He had to play. Johnson has had other opportunities to return to the NBA since his retirement, including reported overtures from both Charlotte and the Lakers. This time, though, things felt right.
"In the final analysis," Johnson said, "I couldn't see myself putting another uniform other than a Phoenix Suns uniform.
"One thing that has helped speed up the whole process of transition has been the familiarity of this organization," he added. "Psychologically, emotionally and mentally, all those things are in place. I'm playing on the same team, the same arena, the referees are the same. The players, the trainers, the coaching staff. All of those are familiar. My route from home to the arena is the same. All those things have made my transition a lot, lot smoother."
Johnson knows he made the right decision.
"First, I'd like to say it's great to be back in the NBA," he said at the start of an NBA conference call on Wednesday afternoon. "I'm joining a Phoenix Suns team that is very special. We've battled a lot of adversity early on. We've had a coaching change, lost Tom Gugliotta, Rex Chapman and then Jason Kidd. Yet our team still manages to be productive on the court and put ourselves in a position to win. So I'm excited."
He is excited to once again be dealing with the things he now realizes that retirement, for all of its pluses, simply cannot offer.
"Initially, when I walked away from the game, I tried to stay as far away as possible — meaning I didn't come to any games, I didn't watch a lot of basketball, because I didn't want to get the bug," Johnson said. "I felt it was best for me to keep as much distance as I could from the game. While I was away, I didn't really miss anything. I had a lot of things going on, I was appreciating my time, my life, after the NBA, and my life away from basketball.
"But once I came back, a couple of things jumped out and I realized I really missed this. I missed the competitiveness of playing NBA basketball. You can't get that anywhere else. The second thing I missed was the camaraderie from your teammates. You have that common goal and team spirit and unity, and everybody on the same page, and that was something that I missed."
Johnson intends to make the most of both on this second pass, one which could end after one playoff round, or last — well, no one knows for certain how long it may last.
"I haven't given any consideration to whether I play beyond this year," Johnson said. "I mean, this challenge in front of me is so daunting, and everything happened so quickly, I haven't had a chance to be introspective or reflective.
"My whole life was flipped upside down in a span of 24 hours. And it's been adjustment after adjustment. If I can just get through this season and help our team do well in the playoffs, that's my only goal."
After that, he could live either way.