Dalai Lama, My Son; by Diki Tsering; edited by Khedroob Thondup; Viking, 189 pages; $23.95.
Diki Tsering, born to peasants in 1901, grew up to be the mother of the Dalai Lama and "the Grandmother of Tibet." In 1979, Yangzom Doma, Tsering's granddaughter, conceived the notion that Tsering's life story should be told, so she prevailed upon her to be interviewed. Over the next year, the grandmother talked while the granddaughter scribbled notes, and then translated the stories from Tibetan into English.
Unfortunately, Doma was killed in an automobile accident in 1982, leaving the life story of her grandmother unfinished. Doma's brother, Khedroob Thondup, took over the project, editing and compiling the notes for publication. The result is this realistic look at Tsering's life, with special emphasis on the difficulties of a woman in the Tibetan culture. A woman's life, she said, "can be hard, cruel and full of trials and tribulations," and, in fact, the birth of a girl was considered a curse and an economic liability in this farming society.
Although she had a carefree childhood, Tsering experienced all the hardships reserved for women, including an arranged marriage at the age of 14, essential slave status within marriage and lack of respect by all who knew her. A married woman was not permitted to wear any hat in the presence of her in-laws and no handkerchief on her head, no matter how strong the sun. To cover the head was seen as a sign of disrespect. Even when women worked in the fields, they were not allowed to cover their heads.
It was all part of the Buddhist philosophy that "in order to live a full and self-contained life, it is imperative to suffer." Life, especially to a woman, was filled with hard work, lack of sleep and an absence of entertainment. Most, including Tsering, delivered their own children, then went back to work immediately afterward. Widows were forced to remarry and some committed suicide to avoid it. If a woman was thought to have committed adultery, she was killed by members of her own family.
Tsering's life took a sharp turn, however, when her son Lhamo Dhondup, born in 1935, was chosen to be the 14th Dalai Lama. As the Tibetan people's religious leader, the Dalai Lama has come to be one of the world's most important spiritual leaders. He was 2 years old when a governmental "search party" visited their home looking for the Dalai Lama. Although Tsering had no dreams of her son being chosen, she had noticed many interesting signs throughout his childhood that indicated he was different.
He showed signs of unusual maturity, selflessness and dignity when very young. When only 4 years old, he was subjected to an intensive interview, which included questions in the Lhasa dialect, which he had never heard before, yet he responded easily. While traveling to Lhasa, his mother was greeted by Sangseng tribesmen who were very dirty. When she criticized them for it, her son was disturbed. "His Holiness became furious that I was judging people by their physical appearance."
This fascinating book describes not only the culture and the method by which the Dalai Lama is chosen, but the Chinese takeover that forced the Dalai Lama and his people into exile in India.
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