It's one of the great rituals in American politics: The presidential nominee heads "home" with his new running mate to talk about roots and bask in the cheers of neighbors and friends.
And so George W. Bush and Dick Cheney spent Wednesday in Wyoming, of all places. But we know better: Cheney, like most politicians who come to work in Washington, has lived more of his adult life here than in his "home" and isn't going back where he came from, ever.
"He's a man who knows Washington well but is not of Washington," Bush said of his running mate at Natrona County High School in Casper. "And thankfully so — Washington today is a place of needless partisan shouting and nightly polls and daily attacks."
You can chuckle or bristle at the anti-Washington rhetoric candidates spout on the hustings, but you know the truth: People like Cheney don't go back to where they came from because this is home, this is where their careers are, and they like it here — even if they bash us when they're out of earshot.
The permanent refugees are all over the Washington area — especially pols who came here from barren places nearly everyone is eager to flee: George McGovern from South Dakota, Gene McCarthy from Minnesota, Bob Dole from Kansas and Jack Kemp from Buffalo.
It was Dole who launched his 1996 campaign with an emotional speech in which he said he would reach the White House or go "home." After he lost, Dole returned not to Russell, Kan., but to the Watergate, where he's lived for more than three decades. Similarly, Daniel Patrick Moynihan, retiring this year after 24 years in the Senate, isn't going back to New York; he just put his Upstate farm on the market for $1.1 million.
In Cheney's case, clues to his Washington roots were woven throughout Wednesday's news stories: His doctors, who pronounced him fit for the run, practice at George Washington University Hospital. His grandchildren live in McLean, Va. His wife's office is at the American Enterprise Institute in D.C. And while he's spent the last few years running a company in Dallas, Cheney maintains a house in a walled community on Route 123 called Madison of McLean.
While Bush and Cheney held their show in Casper, I wandered by the place where Cheney was staying when he was summoned down to Austin to get the big news. The Cheneys have a two-story town house over a garage with but a small patch of grass.
Cheney's friends say the family has long favored condos and town houses where they needn't tend a lawn. Dick and Lynne first moved to the Washington area in 1968, renting in Annandale, Va., when he won a congressional internship.
While Cheney served in Congress, the family lived in Maryland, then moved to Virginia. Their younger daughter, Mary, starred in field hockey at McLean High.
Cheney is a big walker, says Kenneth Adelman, the Reagan administration official and a close friend of Cheney. "He plays tennis at Fort Myer (Va.) pretty regularly. And he likes shopping — you see him tooling down the aisles of the Gourmet Giant. He's in heaven when he does that." He was well-known enough at that Giant in McLean that during the Persian Gulf War, the guys at the meat counter made up a thank you card for the then-defense secretary.
When he's in town, Cheney likes to cook for friends — he's good with fish and soups. For special occasions, they like to go out to L'Auberge Chez Francois in Great Falls, Va.
He is, in short, a Washingtonian. As are almost all of the candidates, even as they strive for "outsider" status. Pat Buchanan has lived here his entire life; he's as Washington as they come. Ralph Nader came here not long after college and has never left. George W. Bush is something of an exception, but he spent extended periods here during his father's presidency and famously didn't like it. And Al Gore is the classic example of the phenomenon, the native Washingtonian who pretends to another home. Win or lose, you know he isn't going anywhere.