There comes a time in many seniors' lives when they need some form of assistance in daily living. A person might need full-blown nursing home care, assisted living, visits from nurses or, as is increasingly common once again, moving in with a child's family.
There are fairly elaborate support systems for organized care, but families who choose to invite an elderly relative to live in their home face special challenges — and too often they attempt to do it all alone.
When a newborn arrives home from the hospital, most families naturally change some habits. Stereos get turned down low after baby goes to bed, and meals require a schedule instead.
When a parent moves in, as the old song says, it's the same dance, different beat. Many small but important changes may be needed in the household routine. Thermostats may need to be changed, meal menus adjusted — all sorts of small, seemly mundane things that are in fact quite important to seniors in making them comfortable at their new home.
But bigger, more complex issues may also present themselves. Someone with early Alzheimer's, for example, may not be able to be left alone or allowed to baby-sit small children.
Some delicate situations can arise when a well-meaning older relative offers to watch the kids while Mom and Dad enjoy a night out — and Mom and Dad have to find a way politely to decline, even though they may crave some time out of the house as a couple.
For couples at mid-life, with children in school and parents to care for in their homes, the stresses of everyday life can be great, even without special medical situations involved. If a medical problem requiring some degree of nursing care or other assistance is added to the equation, then both the stresses and expenses obviously can mount.
But adult children caring for a parent or parents need not — and probably should not, for their own sake — attempt to go it alone. Many resources, particularly sound advice and guidance, are available through non-profit groups that focus on the needs of people with particular diseases of old age, such as Parkinson's and Alzheimer's.
Hospitals and other health-care institutions often have support groups, staff people and courses available to help with such situations.
Despite whatever stresses and burdens that might be involved, caring for a parent is first and foremost a labor of love. Each of our parents served us, and they deserve our service when it is needed. I have yet to meet anyone who has cared for a parent — regardless of how the experience might have forced changes in household routines, pinched budgets and frayed nerves — who wouldn't do it again. Love knows no bounds.