High stakes
The wagering is on between Super Bowl mayors.
New York's Rudy Giuliani has bet two tickets to a Broadway show, a copy of the Encyclopedia of New York, a sampling from Fulton Fish Market, a case of New York City tap water and a case of Brooklyn lager beer on the Giants.
Baltimore mayor Martin O'Malley is putting up a bushel of crabs, a dozen Baltimore Berger cookies and items to be named later. (This is, after all, a sports transaction.)
Wait a minute. Back up.
New York City tap water?
Don't you just hate when the big shots get all the perks?
Additional incentive
While you're at it, Rudy, why don't you toss in a jar of sludge from the East River and maybe a bag of those used hypodermic needles.
On alert
A reader sent along a note, urging me to notify the Jazz that HAKEEM OLAJUWON WANTS TO BE TRADED and could perhaps even be acquired for a bargain-basement price!
Note to the Jazz: Consider yourself notified.
For some crazy reason, I figure if the Jazz found Andrei Kirilenko in Russia, and years before, Allan Bannister in England, they'll know Hakeem's available.
But it's only a hunch.
Jumping the gun
I don't know if anyone was paying attention last week, but Houston coach Rudy Tomjanovich said the Jazz have a legitimate shot at a championship.
Nice sentiment, really.
I'm assuming that was before he saw the videotape of the Jazz-Minnesota game.
Upon further review
Nasty scene back in South Bend Sunday.
West Virginia center Chris Moss spit on a female Notre Dame cheerleader. He had to be pulled from the court by coaches after fouling out.
Don't tell me, let me guess: The coach is "going to have to look at the film" before he decides on a punishment.
But I get up again
First, Knicks coach Jeff Van Gundy wraps himself around the leg of Alonzo Mourning. Now he's taking a punch from Marcus Camby.
Call me unimaginative, but for some reason I can't picture Jerry Sloan clinging like a tree sloth to the leg of Mourning.
I can't picture him crawling into the fetal position if a player punched him in the head, either.
Only thing I can imagine is this: Jerry swinging back.
No more heroes
Speaking of Van Gundy, he's already angling to get Shaq.
Given O'Neal's winter of discontent with the Lakers, Van Gundy has said if Shaq comes to New York, "We'll change the name (of the team). The Knicks, the Shaqs, whatever."
If Shaq does end up in New York, Van Gundy is going to want to stay out of those scuffles.
Either that or make sure if he jumps in front of a punch, it's thrown by Charlie Ward.
E-MAIL: rock@desnews.com