Ho-hum. Another January, another slew of mediocre teen-oriented films.
Not that mediocrity has prevented one of them from making money — the urban dance drama "Save the Last Dance."
But, hopefully, discriminating moviegoers will reject the second volley, the familiar-looking comedy "Sugar & Spice."
In fact, if it weren't that this irritating, irresponsible film was in production around the same time as last fall's sleeper hit "Bring It On," you'd swear it was a rushed-out knock-off . . . albeit with nods to such crime films as "Dog Day Afternoon."
Unfortunately, it's lacking "Bring it On's" quirky appeal, replacing that film's surprisingly smart barbs with smatterings of pop-culture references, crude humor and profanity in an obvious attempt to seem "hipper" than it actually is.
Also noticeably lacking in appeal is the film's cast, which is headed by Marley Shelton as Diane Weston, the captain of her school's cheerleading team.
The petite blonde is also one of the school's most popular students, and she quickly attracts the attention of the new football star, quarterback Jack Bartlett (James Marsden, from "X-Men"). Unfortunately, their relationship gets a little too passionate, and Diane finds herself pregnant. Worse, the couple's disapproving parents kick them out of their respective homes and they're suddenly forced to scrape by with a series of dead-end jobs.
So, Diane and the members of the cheerleading "A squad" (Mena Suvari, Alexandra Holden, Rachel Blanchard, Sara Marsh and Melissa George) plot to put on disguises and rob the bank branch where she works. To everyone's surprise, the half-baked scheme works; they pull off the job so well that they think they've gotten away with it. But a jealous B-squad cheerleader (Marla Sokoloff) recognizes some of their moves during the heist and threatens to spill the beans.
Making her feature-film debut, director Francine McDougall is much less imaginative in her stagings of the cheerleader routines and the bank job than she could have been, and parodies of other films don't help. If that's not bad enough, she's working with a script (by another newcomer, Mandy Nelson) that stoops to the cheapest possible gags in nearly every scene, and the few guilty chuckles here and there are not nearly enough to make up for it.
As far as the cast is concerned, aside from Marsden, who appears to be relishing his dumb-jock role, the performances are surprisingly forced and unfunny. The worst of the lot is Suvari, who seems as if she's being forced to perform at gunpoint. Meanwhile, Shelton's deliberate, blank gaze is almost unnerving.
"Sugar & Spice" is rated PG-13 for occasional strong profanity (including one use of the so-called "R-rated" curse word), crude humor involving bodily functions and sexual relations, slapstick violence and glimpses of graphic anatomical charts. Running time: 77 minutes.
E-MAIL: jeff@desnews.com