The fact that Roma Downey's CBS TV movie "Sons of Mistletoe" is hopelessly outdated has nothing to do with the fact that it's sort of an old-fashioned Christmas movie that couldn't be more predictable if the network sent copies of the script to each and every American viewer.
It's glaringly outdated by just over three months — it was shot over the summer, before the terrorist attack on New York's World Trade Center on Sept. 11.
Now, the movie (Wednesday at 8 p.m. on Ch. 2) has nothing whatsoever to do with terrorism. It's sort of a twist on "A Christmas Carol" with a bleached-blonde Downey (who is also one of the telefilm's executive producers) cast in the Scrooge role.
Oh, she's not really mean, she's just a tough businesswoman by the name of Helen Radke who has returned to her childhood hometown of Mistletoe to settle the estate of her estranged father. The locals don't know it, but she's going to sell the town's only big store to investors from New York.
Ah, New York — home of cold, heartless, unfeeling people in the "Sons of Mistletoe" universe. Not that that isn't one of the oldest clichs in the book, but it's one we have seen much since 9/11.
We haven't seen many obnoxious New Yorkers sniffing at solid, small-town America and saying, "I can't believe places like this actually exist," as does one of the two New Yorkers in Mistletoe to arrange the purchase of the store.
And it's an attitude the two exude every time they're onscreen. Like when they come across a group of carolers.
"Who are these people?" says one.
"Oh, just more of the friendly citizens of Mistletoe," the other replies condescendingly.
"How quaint."
"We're not in New York anymore, Franco."
"This would never happen in New York."
No, there are no goodhearted New Yorkers who believe in Christmas.
Of course, the attitudes work both ways. Like when Helen is confronted by one of the townsfolk about her business decision.
"I heard you sold out to New Yorkers. . . . Your father didn't trust New Yorkers," the man says. "He always said that they say what you want to hear, but they do what they want to do."
Again, none of this really has anything to do with the movie. But it's jarring, nonetheless.
What the movie is really about is Helen's interaction with do-gooder Jimmy (the ever-charming George Newbern), a local boy who grew up in the local orphanage and is now its director. He provides a good home to a group of good kids.
(And he gets the occasional assist from the town sheriff, played by Doris Roberts of "Everybody Loves Raymond.")
While the home's budget is tight, Jimmy has always had the financial support of Helen's late father — but she seems considerably less interested in continuing that support.
One of the plotlines involves a surly young kid who, as it turns out, is exactly what any viewer paying any attention at all will quickly discern. And, at the risk of giving, well, nothing away, you just know that Jimmy and Helen are going to overcome their initial antipathy and develop a relationship.
"Sons of Mistletoe" isn't a bad movie, it's just sort of perfunctory. It's a pleasant enough way to pass a couple of hours, as long as you don't expect too much.
And as long as you subscribe to the long-held theory that New Yorkers are uncaring and unfeeling.
E-mail: pierce@desnews.com