Now let's see if I've got this straight: "Joe Somebody" is making a case for people to solve their problems with violence. Or perhaps the film is trying to say that, if you somehow learn how to fight and defend yourself, you'll get everything you ever wanted.
Through its sheer incompetence and mediocrity, this supposed family comedy comes close to suggesting that the once immensely popular Tim Allen can no longer carry a film by himself.
This touchy-feely, subtle-as-an-"Afterschool Special" film is supposedly a showcase for the former television star, and, deprived of a stellar supporting cast (such as the one he had in his last hit, "GalaxyQuest"), he can't make this shaky material work.
Nonetheless, Allen stars as the character who gives the film its name, Joe Scheffer, a mild-mannered audio-visual specialist for a large pharmaceuticals company.
Joe is not having the best of years: He's recently divorced, and he hasn't gotten the promotion he's been promised. Worse, he's humiliated by the office bully (Patrick Warburton), who slaps him down in front of his daughter (Hayden Panetierre, from "Remember the Titans").
Fearing possible legal action, the company sends pretty wellness coordinator Meg Harper (Julie Bowen, from TV's "Ed") to get Joe to come back to work. However, that plan backfires, as her motivational speech inspires him to seek revenge on his tormentor — by hiring a former martial-arts movie star (Jim Belushi) to teach him self-defense.
Surprisingly, this "new" Joe is a hit at the office. He finally gets that promotion, but his cocky new attitude may cost him his relationship with his daughter — as well as Meg, who fell for the "old" Joe.
Among the film's most noticeable flaws is the casting of gruff-voiced Allen, who isn't all that convincing as a meek everyman (which makes his character's transition to the more-confident go-getter seem utterly ridiculous).
Of course, Allen's not the only one to blame here — his "Santa Clause" cohort John Pasquin isn't the most able director, to put it kindly. And George S. Clinton's strained "wacky" score is a real irritant.
And the supporting cast seems to be waiting for Allen to do something "funny." (When the clownish Belushi is the film's highlight, you know it's got some serious problems.)
"Joe Somebody" is rated PG for violence (brawling, hand-to-hand combat training and some slapstick), occasional use of profanity (mostly religious-based) and vulgarity (use of crude slang). Running time: 98 minutes.
E-MAIL: jeff@desnews.com