THE BEACH —*1/2 — Leonardo DiCaprio, Virginie Ledoyen, Tilda Swinton, Guillaume Canet, Paterson Joseph, Lars Arentz Hansen, Robert Carlyle; rated R (profanity, violence, gore, drug use, sex, nudity, vulgarity); Carmike Plaza 5400 and Ritz 15 Theaters; Century Theatres 16; Cinemark Jordan Landing Theaters; Gateway 8 Cinemas; Loews Cineplex Broadway Centre and Holladay Center Cinemas; MegaPlex 17 at Jordan Commons; Reel Theatres.
After making fans wait so long for his follow-up to "Titanic," it probably wasn't the wisest choice for Leonardo DiCaprio to wash up on "The Beach."
Perhaps "wash up" is too strong a word, since it would take more than one bad movie to completely destroy the career of someone as popular as DiCaprio.
Or perhaps not, since this superficial, pretentious adaptation of Alex Garland's novel is pretty awful filmmaking. The obvious swipes of material from "Lord of the Flies," "Lost Horizon" and "The Blue Lagoon" are bad enough, but when the story takes a turn toward "Apocalypse Now" (you have to see it to believe it), things get downright laughable.
Of course, it's not as if DiCaprio is the only one sticking out his neck here. Director Danny Boyle has been looking for something — anything — to follow up his indie hit "Trainspotting." And while "The Beach" is not quite as bad as Boyle's previous film, "A Life Less Ordinary," it comes pretty close.
Still, the person with his name above the title is DiCaprio, who stars as Richard, a bored American twentysomething looking for a new thrill in Thailand. As it turns out, adventure comes looking for him — in the person of Daffy (played by over-the-top Robert Carlyle), an apparently whacked-out Scotsman with a preposterous tale to tell about a nearby island paradise.
Needless to say, Richard isn't exactly buying Daffy's story. But when Daffy turns up dead the next morning, and a map to the island is pinned to his door, Richard does become intrigued. So he enlists two French tourists, Etienne (Guillaume Canet) and the beautiful Francoise (Virginie Ledoyen), to join him on his quest.
And after they make the perilous journey, they discover the real truth: that there really is such an island, and it has two thriving communities — one comprised of fellow thrill seekers and the other made up of Thai drug traffickers.
The trio quickly falls in with the hedonists, who are led by the charismatic and enigmatic Sal (Tilda Swinton). And while they are happy for a time, the whole island's delicate balance is threatened by petty jealousies, encroachments from the "real" world and Richard's increasingly manic behavior.
Many of the film's problems lie with the source material, which reads well in print but seems ludicrous and contrived on the big screen.
John Hodge's cliche-ridden script certainly doesn't help, nor do the liberties he takes with the storyline. Worse, there is little or no attention paid to characterization, which leaves the cast scrambling.
And frankly, DiCaprio — who is, alternately, detached and hammy — can't hold the film together by himself. In her U.S. debut, Ledoyen doesn't fare that well, either, while Swinton simply looks disgusted.
One thing the film does feature, however, is breathtaking photography, as Boyle and cinematographer Darius Khondji capture the Thai locations beautifully. But that's certainly not reason enough to see the movie.
"The Beach" is rated R for profanity, violence (gunplay, as well as a shark attack), gore, simulated drug use (marijuana and other hallucinogens), simulated sex, female nudity and some crude references.