The topic for today is "Inappropriate Guilt and How to Let It Go."
Last week I promised I would stop writing about the Cubs if they started losing because I don't want to jinx their current run at baseball glory by pointing out how WELL they've been doing this summer.
Apparently, I am not the only fan who worries that talking about their unnatural success will throw the Cubs off their stride as the following e-mail from reader Chuck Akerlow demonstrates.
"I've been walking around all baseball season quietly noticing that the Cubs have been in first place in the NL Central Division. But I haven't uttered a word, I haven't said anything to anyone. I've not mentioned it to my wife. I avoid baseball talk at the office. I haven't even worn my Cubs hat. I ignore the sports reports about the Cubs.
In my 61 years, the Cubs have never won a World Series. When growing up outside Chicago, I remember my grandfather would turn on the radio every night at 6 p.m. to WBBM Chicago to hear how the Cubs had done. Then he would grunt and come to dinner with a scowl on his face.
We Cubs fans know what it means to be humble; to silently suffer the awful pain of failure, rejection and the like. Grandfather died and the Cubs hadn't won a World Series. My father died and the Cubs hadn't won the World Series. I am beginning to look my own mortality in the face and realize that maybe I will one day die and the Cubs will not have won the World Series.
Then this year came and maybe. . . .
Well, guess what?
The Cubs have been slipping since I wrote my last column. And they are doing it just as the Astros and the Cards are starting to get muy HOT, as in the "boy, these guys sure look cute in their uniforms" sense of the word.
OK. I have just one thing to say. IT ISN'T MY FAULT.
I would have assumed it was my fault last week when I was still into inappropriate sports guilt. I would have assumed that I jinxed them. But then I received e-mails from several readers telling me the true story of "the Cubs' Goat Curse." Here's what happened:
Back in 1945, when the Cubs were playing against the Detroit Tigers in the World Series, tavern owner Billy Sianis bought two box seats — one for himself and one for his pet goat, Sinovia, who was wearing a little blanket that said, "Let's Get the Tigers' Goat."
Instead of complimenting Billy on his taste in cutting-edge goat fashion, however, the fans at Wrigley Field complained about having to sit next to Sinovia, primarily because Sinovia smelled like a goat.
Eventually, Billy Sianis and Sinovia were asked to leave the ball park by owner Phil Wrigley himself. Which they did. But not until Billy uttered a potent "goat curse" on the Cubs. No one knows exactly what he said, although the following options have been suggested.
1. May you never win another World Series game as long as Sinovia lives.
2. May you never win another World Series game as long as Billy Sianis lives.
3. May you never win another World Series game as long as the Cubs play on Wrigley Field.
4. May you all go home this evening and marry women who smell like goats.
5. Yadda yadda yadda.
Anyway, the Cubs eventually lost to the Tigers, and they haven't been to a Series since.
So here's the moral of this story for worried Cubs fans who want to help their team win.
1. Let go of your guilt. It's not your fault that the Cubs are losing.
2. It's Billy Sianis' fault.
3. If a goat shows up to a game wearing a dress, for HEAVEN'S SAKE, BE NICE TO IT.
4. Go Cubs.
E-MAIL: acannon@desnews.com