If you're a parent who still believes in the time-worn phrase "I'd rather let my child choose his religion when he grows up," then listen up:
It's time to put that theory of child-rearing in the trash can with such health advice as "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."
The idea of parental neutrality (arguably hostility) toward religion is not only bogus, it's downright dangerous to a child's well-being.
If you don't believe me, then consider the recent findings of Child Trends, an independent, nonpartisan research center that seeks to improve the lives of children and their families through its research.
It found that teens were less likely to be drug and alcohol abusers and more likely to delay sexual activity if they were involved in religion.
Moreover, teens in religious organizations were more likely to take part in service-oriented activities and had fewer delinquency problems.
"Although researchers have found a general trend for children to become less religious in adolescence, national survey data collected over the past three decades consistently show that more than 60 percent of all American high school seniors agree that religion is 'pretty' or 'very' important to them," the study reports.
While the study notes other factors that shape a teen's behavior — including parents, peers and nonreligious communities or groups — those teens who are part of religious communities are likely to have the greatest opportunities for positive outcomes.
Most parents won't be surprised by these findings. They've taught their children prayers — and prayed for them. They've taken them to church, synagogue or mosque, where faith in God was nurtured. They've passed on their morals and values to help guide their children. Of course religion makes a difference.
So why do we still hear that religious-neutrality comment from parents and parents-to-be? Aren't these the same people who are quick to say they wouldn't dream of letting their children decide on their own what to eat, or what to watch on television, or what to do unsupervised? But when it comes to religion: "Well, I don't want to prejudice my child against other religions."
The presumption is always that religion is more harmful than beneficial. How sad.
To be clear, no one contends that having faith guarantees problem-free adolescents. Each of us can think of teenagers whose parents regularly took them to a house of worship and encouraged them to follow the narrow path of faith. Yet they took off "into a far country" where some rejected faith altogether and others found a different purpose for living.
Regardless of how children turn out, parents who understand the importance of faith cannot shirk their responsibility of laying a spiritual foundation for their children. God willing, it will be solid enough to help them avoid the dangers ahead. Thankfully, those who don't have a spiritual grounding or who wander away from it can still find their way home to God.
One thing is certain: Time is short for parents with children still willing to listen to a parent's guidance. If you haven't laid the foundation and believe it's crucial for your child, here are some ways to begin:
Pray with your child, at meals and at bedtime. Read the stories of your faith or look for books that provide spiritual and moral guidance.
Plan a regular time to eat together as a family to nourish spirits as well as bodies.
Take your child to church, synagogue, mosque or other religious gathering for more formal training as well as the loving support of a larger community.
Get involved in service to others, through religious groups or social service agencies.
The biggest mistake we make as parents is to think that we're in control of our children's decisions and their ultimate destiny. That's both foolish and dangerous.
The greatest gift we can give our children is a spiritual foundation on which they can build a God-pleasing life, long after we're gone.
Such a gift is of inestimable value — and the only legacy worth passing on.
Tom Schaefer writes about religion and ethics for the Wichita (Kan.) Eagle. Write to him at the Wichita Eagle, P.O. Box 820, Wichita, KS 67201, or send e-mail to tschaefer@wichitaeagle.com.