Of all the bad ideas Hollywood consistently comes up with, remaking classic films is up (or down) there with the worst.
And "The Truth About Charlie," which opened in theaters last Friday, is a strong (or weak) example.
When I first read that a remake of Stanley Donen's 1963 comedy-thriller "Charade" was going to be made, I cringed. But then, when I read that Jonathan Demme would direct, I gained a little hope.
After all, he did "Melvin and Howard" and won an Oscar for "The Silence of the Lambs." On the other hand, he also made "Beloved."
Then, when I saw Mark Wahlberg was to star, I went back to cringing.
The Donen film is admittedly light escapist fare, and specifically an Alfred Hitchcock wannabe. But it's the best of that breed.
And, after all, films copying Hitchcock's style have been a staple of Hollywood for decades.
If you haven't seen "Charade," I highly recommend it. Audrey Hepburn and Cary Grant star as, respectively, a recently widowed young woman blissfully unaware of her late husband's shady dealings, and a charming fellow who comes to her rescue, but who may or may not be linked to her late husband's even shadier colleagues.
The latter are three thugs, each a deliciously distinct character, and played with relish by James Coburn, George Kennedy and Ned Glass. They're out to get a fortune that Hepburn's husband left behind . . . somewhere. And we mustn't forget Walter Matthau, as a government agent who tries to help Hepburn sort things out, but who may have his own agenda.
All of this comes together against the backdrop of Paris, with gorgeous, colorful locations, and a delightful Henry Mancini score.
Donen is equally deft at suspense and comedy here, and he delivers plenty of both. All in all, it's a nearly perfect Hollywood confection, one of the best of its era.
"The Truth About Charlie," however, is a mess.
For some reason, Demme has tried to replicate/pay homage to the '60s French New Wave movement, when such directors as Francois Truffaut and Jean-Luc Godard were breaking out of conventional moviemaking mores to offer more realistic, gritty efforts. They were quite successful; Demme is not.
"Charlie" is just a hard-to-watch, jittery rehash of the "Charade" story without the style or the humor. Thandie Newton (who tries, but is let down by the script and director) and Wahlberg take on the Hepburn and Grant roles, and the trio of villains is not nearly as interesting this time around. And in the Matthau character, Tim Robbins gives perhaps his worst performance (his voice inflections seem to be channeling Matthau . . . poorly).
Sadly, the film is also bereft of the comedy that helped make "Charade" distinctive. Most surprising, perhaps, is that a line Hepburn speaks to Grant, which resonated with audiences and became a famous piece of dialogue, is repeated here, spoken by Newton to Wahlberg — and just seems ridiculous. Hepburn says to Grant, "Do you know what's wrong with you?" Grant replies, "No, what?" Hepburn leans forward and says with a mischievous grin, "Nothing!"
You can believe that most anyone would feel that way about Cary Grant . . . but Mark Wahlberg?
Ironically, Demme, early in his career (1979), made another Hitchcock wannabe thriller, and it's much better — "Last Embrace," starring Roy Scheider, Janet Margolin and a young Christopher Walken, climaxing at Niagra Falls in a way that Hitch would have appreciated.
Maybe Demme should have remade that!
As a postscript, and perhaps another bit of irony, it should be mentioned that Truffaut also made a couple of Hitchcock-style pictures, "The Bride Wore Black" (1968) and "Confidentially Yours" (1982). And Donen made another one after "Charade," "Arabesque" (1966), with Gregory Peck and Sophia Loren. Other Hitch wannabes include "The Prize" (1963), with Paul Newman and Edward G. Robinson, and "Silver Streak" (1976), with Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor.
All of these are well worth seeing, all are on video and all are far superior to "The Truth About Charlie."
E-MAIL: hicks@desnews.com