Wait — you mean "Extreme Ops" isn't a comedy?
Actually, there are more than a few things that are similarly unclear about this supposed thriller, which features few thrills.
In fact, there is some plotting that is so stupid it will have audience members shaking their heads.
And the performances are just awful — some of the worst in recent memory.
Frankly, if the film had simply been a collection of extreme-sports stunts and bloopers, it would have been a lot better.
Instead, "Extreme Ops" makes the fatal mistake of trying to tell a story — and worse, this story in particular. The results are disastrous.
Then there's the film's rather misleading title, which makes it sound as if this is a spy thriller akin to "xXx."
Instead, it's a slow-moving yarn about a crew of filmmakers (Rufus Sewell, Rupert Graves and Devon Sawa) trying to shoot a commercial in severe avalanche conditions.
That's why they've come to Austria, along with a pair of thrill-seeking snowboarders (Jana Pallaske and Joe Absolom) and a medal-winning downhill skier (Bridgette Wilson-Sampras) who is trying to prove her courage.
Unfortunately, they stumble onto the remote mountain lair of Serbian terrorists ( . . . don't ask) and are forced to fight for their lives while storms and winds rage around them.
Admittedly, the photography is first-rate, especially of the various stunts, which were performed by 18 Winter X Games competitors. But it's in service of a plot so ludicrous that it practically begs the audience to howl the thing off the screen.
Not that Emmy-nominated director Christian Duguay ("Joan of Arc") is of any use, considering his slack pacing (the film seems to take forever to actually move the plot forward).
Also, you have to wonder what the paychecks must have been like to attract people as talented as British actors Sewell, and especially Graves, who sports an awful attempt at an American accent.
"Extreme Ops" is rated PG-13 for violence (sports-related, as well as gunfire and explosive mayhem), scattered use of profanity, crude sexual slang terms and other sex talk, brief sexual contact and brief male nudity. Running time: 93 minutes.
E-MAIL: jeff@desnews.com