Recently, Matthew Commons celebrated his 21st birthday. He was far from home, so his mother, Patricia Marek, sent him a package of birthday hats so he and his friends could celebrate where they were, whereever they were.
Commons, a U.S. Army Ranger serving in the Afghanistan conflict, couldn't tell his mother where he was. But she sent the hats anyway. Moms do that kind of thing when their child is far from home.
Marek and her ex-husband, Greg Commons, Matthew's father, last spoke to their son Feb. 26. He told them he loved them. The next communication about Matthew would come from an Army officer, informing the family that their son was one of seven servicemen killed Monday in a 12-hour firefight during Operation Anaconda. Their son was the youngest of the dead.
Even though Commons' parents intellectualized that their son was in harm's way, they kept positive thoughts. Greg Commons, a former U.S. Marine, told the Las Vegas Review-Journal, "I didn't think it would be him. I know we have thousands of Army soldiers over there. You never think it's going to happen to someone you know."
As the family was interviewed on network television earlier this week, I was struck by their stoicism and their concern for the families of the others killed in the firefight. Most of all, they expressed their bedrock belief in their son's desire to serve his country.
As I looked at Commons' photo, I noticed how young he looked. I thought about the young men and women who had recently competed in the 2002 Winter Games. I thought about how we held them up as heroes. I thought about how wrong-headed that was.
I confess: I was one of the worst offenders. I was in the Delta Center the night American short-track speed skater Apolo Anton Ohno took his now-famous spill on the ice and scrambled across the finish line to win a silver medal. I, too, was swept up in the incessant "USA, USA" chants. When Ohno was awarded his medal, I cheered until I was nearly hoarse.
It's all well and good to cheer our sports figures. When I think about how much world-class athletes must condition and train, they are really quite remarkable human specimens. But are they heroes?
Sports figures and members of our military each make tremendous sacrifices in their chosen vocations. But we need to keep in mind that most athletes train and compete for personal gain and acclaim. Conversely, members of our military stand willing to give their lives for their country.
Yes, an argument can be made that there was a tremendous groundswell of American pride every time the national anthem played at a venue or the medals plaza as the coveted gold medals were awarded during the Games. But the young Americans honored in the recent Olympics are people who lend flavor to the national landscape. The young men and women in the military give America its backbone.
I realize Matthew Commons will never be a household name, but he should be. As much as we adore the likes of Sarah Hughes and Bode Miller, it's young men and young women like Commons who epitomize what's good and right about this country.
"He wasn't a superstar," a former high school teacher said of Commons. "He was a real solid kid who was willing to put his life on the line."
Many people in my generation, the tail of the Baby Boom, never would have entertained serving in the military.
Part of it was growing up in the post-Vietnam era. Thousands of young lives had been sacrificed in that conflict for no apparent political good. Many of the dead were poor, minority kids who couldn't finagle a deferment because they had no prospects of going to college. The notion of serving in the military left a bad taste in our mouths.
Part of it was growing up during the Cold War. The threat seemed real enough but there was never enough of a conflict to convince most of the people I went to school with to ever consider joining the service. Most of us viewed the military has an option for people who didn't have much else going on in their lives. As I think about it now, I'm astonished by the arrogance. As the child of a veteran, it is particularly shameful and short-sighted on my part.
Unlike the previous generations of servicemen, Commons chose to serve his country. He felt it his honor and duty to protect his nation. This from the child of man who served in America's most controversial and unpopular conflict.
At 19, Matthew Commons saw the Army Rangers as an opportunity to prove himself to family and friends. A couple of years before the Sept. 11 attack, he was moved to enter the military because he wanted chance to do right by his community and his country. He did that and more. He and his comrades gave up their lives in service to their nation. There are no truer patriots or heroes.
Marjorie Cortez is a Deseret News editorial writer. E-mail: marjorie@desnews.com.