THE SWEETEST THING —* 1/2 — Cameron Diaz, Thomas Jane, Christina Applegate, Selma Blair, Jason Bateman, Parker Posey, Georgia Engel; rated R (vulgarity, sex, profanity, slapstick violence, brief nudity); see the "On the Screen" column on Page W2 for complete listing of local theaters.
The quality of film writing in Hollywood has deteriorated to such a point that, when the material's sketchy, filmmakers now try to cover it up by making the action as frantic as possible. And if the film is a comedy, they try to make it as lowbrow as possible — even when the target audience is supposedly female.
That may explain "The Sweetest Thing," a surprisingly raunchy, plot-thin romantic comedy that gives some of the current crop of crude comedies — including "Sorority Boys" and "National Lampoon's Van Wilder" — a run for their money in the vulgarity department.
"The Sweetest Thing" is also flimsy and forgettable, which makes you wonder exactly what Cameron Diaz saw in it. That is, unless she's content to swipe from her material in "Charlie's Angels" and "My Best Friend's Wedding," as well as things from "When Harry Met Sally. . . ." and, believe it or not, "Scary Movie."
Diaz stars as Christina Walters, a Bay Area woman who is tiring of the love-'em-and-leave-'em dating scene. So she and her best friends — Courtney (Christina Applegate) and Jane (Selma Blair) — prowl the clubs looking for men. But the search doesn't go so well, and Christina's about ready to give up when she has a chance encounter with Peter (Thomas Jane) and feels what appears to be a real spark. Unfortunately, she lets the moment pass, Peter slips away without giving her his phone number.
The next morning she regrets that decision, so Courtney drags Christina off on a road trip to track down Peter at a wedding.
However, when they finally get there, Christina and Courtney discover something that makes them reconsider how "perfect" he really is.
Not to give too much away, but the latter plot twist is a little too similar to one in last year's "The Wedding Planner" — though this film is much more unpleasant and forced than that rather bland trifle.
Blame should be divided equally between director Roger Kumble and scripter Nancy Pimental, who couldn't come up with enough material for a 90-minute movie. (The film is padded out to 84 minutes with excruciating musical "clowning around" scenes.)
And while Diaz is normally quite likable — witness her supporting turn in last year's "Vanilla Sky" — here, her character is smarmy, and she's unable to make her remotely sympathetic.
"The Sweetest Thing" is rated R for crude sexual humor (sight gags and verbal jokes) and sex talk, simulated sex acts (done for laughs), occasional use of strong, sexual profanity, slapstick violence and brief male nudity. Running time: 84 minutes.
E-MAIL: jeff@desnews.com