SCOOBY-DOO —* 1/2 — Matthew Lillard, Freddie Prinze Jr., Sarah Michelle Gellar, Linda Cardellini, Rowan Atkinson, Isla Fisher, and starring the voice of Neil Fanning; rated PG (slapstick violence, vulgarity, brief drug content); see the "On the Screen" column for complete listing of local theaters.
First off, the cartoons on which "Scooby-Doo" is based aren't exactly award-winning stuff.
But as dumb and cheesy as they may be, the cartoons look almost Shakespearean — both in depth and breadth — after watching this digital-effects-heavy, supposed family-friendly comedy.
Not that anyone was expecting anything better of a movie unfortunate enough to feature Freddie Prinze Jr., an actor who continues to cement his reputation as the least-talented, least-charismatic star in the history of modern cinema.
(The surprisingly lowbrow movie also pretends to be family-friendly — despite a couple of drug references and an extended flatulence "contest" between two of the characters.)
As the film begins, Mystery Inc. has just finished solving one of its most high-profile cases (one that allows non-talent Pamela Anderson to make a cameo). Unfortunately, it looks like it may be Mystery Inc.'s last case as well.
It turns out bookworm Velma (Linda Cardellini) is tired of living in the shadow of Fred (Prinze), who's become a star. And Daphne (Sarah Michelle Gellar) has tired of being a kidnap victim one time too many.
The ensuing breakup leaves Scooby-Doo and Shaggy (Matthew Lillard) out in the cold. A couple of years later they find themselves as beachcombers, at least until they get an offer to visit the creepy resort destination Spooky Island.
The resort's owner, a Mr. Mondarious (Rowan Atkinson), has invited the former members of Mystery Inc. to solve a mystery — teens vacationing on the island appear to be possessed.
To be fair, the mystery's resolution does tie into the series, and the movie does have a couple of modest charms. Lillard's spot-on Casey Kasem impersonation is one of them, as are some of goofy bits "performed" by the CGI-animated dog.
However, Raja Gosnell ("Big Momma's House") has no concept of how to direct comedy, and the script appears to have been written by junior-high students rather than professional screenwriters.
And besides, the rest of the cast is downright awful. The slight Prinze doesn't look like his character, and the usually dependable Gellar may actually be more unfunny than Prinze, her off-screen paramour.
"Scooby-Doo" is rated PG-13 for scenes of slapstick violence and menace, crude flatulence gags and brief drug content (a pair of bits suggesting drug use, including one that occurs during the closing-credit "gag-reel"). Running time: 87 minutes.
E-mail: jeff@desnews.com