Instead of taking our usual long walk the other morning, my girlfriends and I decided to stroll over to Wasatch Elementary and play a game of hopscotch.
It had been years, decades even, since any of us had played. But it was an experience worth having, and I highly recommend you all try it for yourselves. In order to facilitate your hopscotch-playing pleasure, I have included the following suggestions, which I am calling "The Forty-plus Girl's Guide to Hopscotch."
FIRST, DECIDE ON YOUR ROLES BEFORE YOU START PLAYING.
To borrow a gag from Shakespeare, all the playground's a stage, and elementary school students are merely players. Teacher's Pet. Class Clown. Bully. Tattle-Tale.
These are just a few of the roles kids take on during recess.
The surprising thing was how easily we slipped into roles of our own once we started playing. Kathy morphed into the Playground Enforcer, making sure we understood the rules and toed the line. Sally turned into her nemesis, the Recess Rebel who took pleasure in subverting the rules as soon as they were made. Missy, who grew up playing hopscotch in Louisiana where Hoppy Taws haven't been invented yet, became the New Girl.
And me — I got to be Marcia Brady.
Being Marcia was the greatest, especially since I was so NOT Marcia when I was growing up. No. I was the Girl in Corrective Shoes who no one wanted to play with except for the Other Girl in Corrective Shoes, Cindy Ekins.
Cindy and I used to play hopscotch in a far-off corner of the playground, making special little rules for ourselves that allowed us and our very big shoes to step on the lines in ninesies and tensies. Meanwhile, we dreamed of the day when we would stop being pigeon-toed so we, too, could wear genuine Keds and join the other non-pigeon-toed girls.
So anyhoo, I loved being Popular Marcia! I enjoyed flipping around my shiny parted-in-the-middle hair as I hopped from square to square! And I was way nice to ALL the girls, including the one from Louisiana — even though I knew they were secretly jealous of me for being so darling!
SECOND, PICK YOUR HOPPY TAW.
Some people (like me, Marcia Brady) choose a Hoppy Taw because of its color (I like blue Hoppy Taws because they go with my eyes). Others choose one because of its texture (scuffed surfaces are good for gripping, smooth surfaces are good for sliding). And if you're from Louisiana, then you don't choose a Hoppy Taw at all because you like to play with your keychain.
As if!
THIRD, COMMENCE PLAYING. We started playing by following traditional rules:
1. Stand outside the hopscotch court and toss your Hoppy Taw into the first square. If the Hoppy Taw touches any lines, the player forfeits a turn.
2. The player hops into the court and works her way through the numbers and back without stepping on any lines.
3. The player picks up the Hoppy Taw without touching the ground with her other hand to help her balance.
Before long, we amended the above rules to accommodate our age.
1. Stand outside the hopscotch court and toss your Hoppy Taw into the first square. If the Hoppy Taw touches any lines, just be grateful you can see well enough to notice.
2. The player who hops into the court and works her way through the numbers and back without stepping on any lines or throwing out her back is obviously cheating.
3. The player picks up the Hoppy Taw WITHOUT TOUCHING THE GROUND WITH HER OTHER HAND TO HELP HER BALANCE?
Oh come on. Get real.
E-MAIL: acannon@desnews.com