I have a strange way of flirting with guys. Usually I hit them, pinch them or kick them to either get their attention or just play with them. Is it all right as long as I'm not hurting them? — Megan, 14, Houston
This sort of reminds me of a little boy who pulls a girl's pigtails to show that he likes her. In a weird way it's cute — but it's also sort of immature. Do I recommend this as a flirting tactic? I'd have to say . . . uh, no.
First of all, it's a little weird to ever hit anyone. I don't mean to make it sound like you're a freakasaurus or anything, but in the grand scheme of things, it's not the best habit to have. Some people really don't like to be hit (like people who have power issues — I know people like that), and you don't want to make them feel uncomfortable — even if you're just kidding.
But also, the more mature way to show someone you're interested is to be nice. Think about it — why send mixed signals? Just smile, be friendly and say "hi." You'll have a way better shot than if you kick him — promise.
I am usually the person who's ahead of the class, and now I am behind and I don't know why. I don't want to be behind. I want to have a good education, and I don't want to have to work somewhere sucky. I mean, I have always had big dreams of being famous and not having to borrow money all the time! Help! —Megan, 14, Phoenix
If you want to have good grades, there's a clear path to getting there: You have to put in the time and the work. It's not easy — because it takes discipline. But it is simple. My advice? Focus more on today and a bit less on your grand-scheme future. It's always good to have dreams and aspirations. But you'll never get there if you're not paying attention to the work that's in front of you right now.
My 19-year-old brother is emotionally abusive. I have slapped him two times, and I don't like it, but I just get so mad with what he says. Is there any way I can get him to leave me alone, or to be nicer? — Bobbi, 13, Redding, Calif.
OK, so you've got to quit slapping him. I know, I know — he's the jerk, and I'm yelling at you. Boo! But I'm just looking out for you, sister. If he's got a bad temper like you describe, you do not want to escalate his emotional abuse into physical abuse.
Now, have you tried talking to one of your parents about how he treats you? If you've tried and it wasn't helpful, try this approach: Instead of emotionally complaining to your mom or dad about the situation, calmly say that he's been treating you in a way that's been very upsetting to you. Tell them that you don't think he realizes how deeply this is affecting you and that you'd like their help with the situation.
And then? Lay low. Sometimes the best way to deal with bullies is to avoid them.
Questions may be sent directly to Atoosa Rubenstein at: askcosmogirl@ cosmogirl.com © King Features Syndicate Inc.