Tying the knot? Deseret Morning News staff writer Susan Whitney profiles a few unusual ways to say "I do" and passes along advice from pros, parents and couples themselves on what to do and what not to do when you're planning your wedding festivities.
Getting hitched
So what if one of the horses sneezed a few times during the ceremony. Misty Lupus and Travis Bleak couldn't have had a more perfect wedding.
Carrie Cannon and Kris Baughman say the same thing about their wedding. Not only was it perfect, it was perfect for them.
Cannon began by planning a traditional wedding. She figured they'd say their vows and greet their guests at a reception center. But as she waved one reception center brochure after another before Kris' eyes, she says, "he would try to show interest, but basically, he was like, 'whatever.'
"And I didn't want this to be just my thing."
So one day she asked him, "If money were no object, if you could get married anywhere in the world, where would you want to get married?" And Baughman, who sells mountain bikes and loves to ride them, said, "the Moab Rim."
Her family was agreeable to the idea. And when Cannon called Baughman's mom, her future mother-in-law eagerly set to work on the project. She called the chairlift operators and made arrangements. She did all the invitations. "I had veto power," Cannon says. She couldn't have been happier with her mother-in-law's help. "She was amazing."
Cannon will never forget when, after the ceremony, she turned around and saw a mountainside covered in smiling guests.
As for Lupus, she and Bleak planned to get married in Las Vegas. But then her aunt, knowing they were both horse trainers and had met through horses, offered them the use of her arena.
Three weeks before their wedding day, they completely changed their plans. Lupus says they needed help from everyone. Not only did her aunt give them a place for the wedding, she also arranged for a wagon and a team to transport the grandparents to the ceremony. Lupus' mom made the cake.
The groom, meanwhile, had been breaking horses for Reed Workman. He arranged for Workman's wife, Nancy, who happens to be the mayor of Salt Lake County, to perform the ceremony.
Lupus is sure a lot more people came to see them get married on horseback in Lindon, Utah, than would have come to Las Vegas. People came from as far away as Roosevelt and Ogden.
When you choose a place that has significance for you, it will probably have significance for your family and friends as well, says Cannon. Most of those who came to their wedding knew that Baughman had won the first free-ride competition ever held there. "A couple of people were nervous about riding the lift," Cannon adds. "They were afraid of heights." But they did it.
The couple's mountain-biking friends were not among the fearful. They brought their bikes up the lift with them. They wore their best clothes for the ceremony and after it was over, they went into the restrooms and changed into biking shorts and downhill armor. Then, gleefully, they took off down the race course on the back side of the mountain.
Motherly advice
Sandy and Preston Miller have three daughters. Back in 1999, when the first one got engaged, the Millers were out with friends who had already had children get married. "How much does a wedding cost?" asked Preston Miller. "About $2,000?"
The friends laughed.
Actually, says Sandy Miller, for a traditional, formal wedding, you will likely spend closer to $10,000.
By the time her second daughter got engaged, Miller knew the drill. "The first thing to do is decide where you want to have it. You have to reserve a place." You have to take into account your budget, she says, and also the wishes of the bride and groom.
Both her daughters were married in an LDS Temple. Both had definite ideas about a reception. Her first-born, Nicole, had always wanted a small family dinner at the Salt Lake Country Club. Her second daughter, Lauren, knew she wanted an outdoor reception. The Millers were able to arrange for one at a new condominium complex.
Sandy Miller wishes someone had told her that you need to assign a relative to hang out with the photographer. At her first daughter's wedding, the photographer didn't know Miller's brother. As a result, she has no photo of the bride's uncle, who drove all the way from Arizona to be there. At her second daughter's wedding, Miller had her sister point out the people to photograph.
Get help wherever you can, she advises. At each reception, she assigned her mother and aunt to arrive early and set up a display of the couple's china. She hired her neighbor to do the flowers.
Another tip: Miller convinced her daughters to schedule their temple weddings for the early afternoon. "We didn't have to get up at 6 a.m. to get our hair done." Instead, the beautician came to their home and worked on mom, bride and bridesmaids in one big party. Other advantages to a later wedding: The bride doesn't have to change out of her dress then back into it for the reception. And the entire family appreciates not having to put in an 18-hour day.
Some of her other suggestions were not as well received by the bride and groom. That's OK, says Miller. Even if parents are paying, they have to remember this is not their wedding. "Be willing to compromise," Miller says. "It really was a fun time in all our lives."
Advice from the pros
Talk to professional wedding planners and you find they agree on one thing: Engagements generally are shorter in Utah than in other states. Their out-of-state suppliers who make the dresses and print the invitations are used to working months, not weeks, in advance of the wedding.
So give yourself as much time as possible, they advise. Otherwise, you may find you can't get the dress or the invitations you like the most.
Here are some of their other tips, with examples of costs. Our advice, as always, is to shop around and explore a number of options before you make a commitment.
The trends: "People are becoming more focused on details and they're personalizing their weddings a lot more," says bridal consultant Tonya Linky of Classic Beginnings. "They bring their hobbies, personalities and lifestyles into their wedding theme."
Few people use backdrops. "No lattices or pillars or anything like that," she says.
The budget: Decide what kind of wedding you want, then set a reasonable budget and stick to it.
This is not as hard as it sounds, says Rebecca Froerer, who manages the Bridal Center in Provo. Just set your priorities. "If you want your flowers to be gorgeous, then cut corners in other areas."
In other parts of the country, weddings are much more expensive than they are here, Froerer says.
The dress: At the Bridal Center you can find a wedding dress that costs as little as $350. If you want a custom-made dress, says Froerer, you will pay at least $1,500. Maybe twice that much. On average, the dresses brides buy at her store range in price from $390 to $690.
What are the trends in wedding dresses? "The more clingy styles are back," she says. This year brides will see dresses that wrap, as well as mermaid-styles.
Choose your dress at least six months before the wedding. It may need to be ordered, shipped and fitted. The same goes for your bridesmaids' dresses.
A word of caution: Whether they are custom-made or off-the-rack, wedding dresses and bridesmaids' dresses can't be returned.
Bridesmaids' dresses: The trend is away from one style of bridesmaid dress, says wedding consultant Linky. Brides are picking the color but letting their bridesmaids choose a style that suits them.
The invitations: You've got literally thousands of choices, says Deni Ward, owner of I Do Weddings in Provo. She carries 24 books of sample invitations. Her customers pay as little as $50 or as much as $300 or $400 for 100 invitations.
It's wise to choose your invitations four-to-six months before the wedding, which gives you plenty of time to order them, address them and mail them. Ward has had brides come in one month beforehand and they panic when they find out how long it takes to order stationery. An invitation with a color photo, for example, takes about two weeks.
A recent trend is square, rather than rectangular, invitations, according to Bill Knutson, office manager of Gottschall Engraving. The problem: they might cost you more for postage.
Ways to save money: Buy your own paper (Xpedex comes to mind) and hire a local printer; or buy your own paper and have a local copy shop create the original and then copy it. "We charge $15 to create the invitation (if it's pretty standard stuff)," says John Anderson, manager of the downtown Kinko's. It costs between 8 and 12 cents per invitation to copy it and between 12 to 14 cents per invitation if we send it out to be printed on a press."
The flowers: Emily Hanks, owner of Hillcrest Floral, has done wedding flowers for as little as $300 and as much as $3,500. "That one was lots of bridesmaids, lots of centerpieces, lots of decorations," she says. "It was a lot of flowers."
In general, she says, boutonnieres start at $7.50 and brides' bouquets start at $85 and go up to $200 or more. If there is a trend in bouquets, it is for the nosegay style, shaped like a lollipop, rather than a cascade. Roses never go out of style, she says.
Hanks says florists can probably help you if you come in a week before the wedding, but a month's notice would be better.
Her advice: Every florist will show a bride some generic books. You should also ask to see photos of weddings your florist has done. "And make sure the person you are speaking with is the one who is actually going to do your wedding," she says.
Rachael MacLaughlin-Howells, owner of Roots, does a lot of hand-tied bouquets using French ribbon or even fabric from the bride's dress. The price varies according to the number and type of flowers. Lilies of the valley, for example, are very expensive. Roses and peonies are less costly.
Cut costs by limiting the number of people in the wedding party who get flowers. A bouquet for the bride and a boutonniere for the groom, for example.
For decoration, even for lavish weddings, she'd rather see a few wonderful arrangements that will capture people's attention than many smaller ones that few guests will notice.
The photographer: Salt Lake photographer Sean Graff's prices begin at $1,400, which is somewhere in the middle of the cost range of $800 to $5,000 or more, he says.
The bride and groom get three hours of shooting and an assembled photo album (or 4-inch by 6-inch prints of the best photos). The trend in photography seems to be toward candid shots rather than traditional family portraits. "People hire me to do more of the candid stuff, but there are always some of the traditional group shot," he says.
Going digital is another trend. Digital photos are easy to view and you can set up a Web site for your friends and relatives to visit.
Be sure you are comfortable around the photographer, he advises. Try to assess how he or she will handle the stress of the day. "A photographer has to be an emotional sponge," Graff says. A guest might get crazy. The bride and groom themselves might be on edge. You're allowed, he says. After all, "this is the biggest party you've ever thrown and you've never done it before and you are never going to do it again."
The wedding video. Josie Martindale, who owns Digital Design Studio in Ogden, has seen wedding videos become increasingly popular over the last 10 years. These days many couples not only want a video of the wedding, but a photo montage video (usually including childhood photos of the bride and groom) to be shown at the reception.
Martindale's wedding package prices range from $289 to $749, about average for Utah, she says. But it's possible to pay as much as $1,200 or $1,500 for a wedding video.
Her tip: Some companies charge by the hour. If you use one of those, make sure you buy enough time to capture the entire event. You don't want the camera to be gone before you cut the cake.
The place: The Carmelle Reception Center in Salt Lake City charges $1,500 for a weekend reception and $1,400 on Tuesday through Thursday. That price includes the services of a hostess (who will not only be on hand that night, but will help you find a pianist, florist, whatever you need), a three-tiered cake, the use of the garden and the building, and the tables and tablecloths and centerpieces, and the feather pen.
There's an additional $200 charge for a rehearsal, if the ceremony is held there. And, of course, there are additional charges for food, which begins at $3.10 a plate, including punch.
 | Deseret News graphic What a reception costsRequires Adobe Acrobat. |
If you want something less expensive, wedding planner Ward has seen nice receptions held outdoors or in the social hall of a church.
However, the trend is to get out of the cultural halls and into either a yard or reception center, according to Taylor Vriens, vice president of Modern Display.
Rental charges for tents depend on size. Most backyard receptions use a 10-foot by 10-foot tent ($75 for the tent and the installation, leg covers, tent liners, lights are extra), 20-foot by 20-foot tents ($200), or a combination.
The mistake a lot of people make is trying to cover with a tent every square inch of space that they're using for the wedding. "That's probably not necessary," he says. "In Utah in the summer, tents are more to provide shade than protection from the rain. If it's going to rain hard, it's probably going to force you to move to a church or reception center. Most people have a backup plan."
Chair covers are another trend. "You take a standard folding chair and you can have potentially any color you want," he says. "It gives them an elegant look." Prices range from $5 to $12 per chair.
Save money by using fewer tables and chairs. Also, you could serve finger foods that guests can eat standing up.
Red Butte Garden is a high-end setting for a reception. It charges $2,500 for an evening event on weekdays. (Weekends are more expensive.) Tables and chairs come with the deal, but you must use a pre-approved caterer. Rose Sachs Garden in Parley's Canyon has wedding packages that start at $795 (for two hours). Here again, you must use a pre-approved caterer.
The food: Food for several hundred will not be inexpensive, notes Ward. She can do a sandwich, dessert and beverage for $3.50 a plate. Sheet cake alone is $2 a plate.
At Carmelle, Fisher recently did an $8.55 a plate buffet for 350 guests. The buffet included three kinds of croissant sandwiches, vegetable plates, fruit plates, slush punch and a myriad of desserts, including eclairs and petit fours.
Then you have the dinner buffets. For $10 to $11 per person, Cuisine Unlimited will provide rosemary chicken skewers, marinated artichoke salad, sweet pepper tortellini, pesto cheese tort, melon wedges and sparkling punch. The price includes decorating the buffet table. It does not include cutlery, plates and glassware (the real thing, not plastic), which are $1.50 per person.
It is perfectly polite to invite one set of guests to a dinner and another set later, for dessert, adds Sandy Miller, who oversaw the weddings of two daughters. When you are trying to estimate the amount of food you need, she says that at a large LDS reception perhaps only half of those you invited will come. The smaller the reception, the more intimate the friends who are invited and the more likely they'll attend.
Or purchase things yourself: Clear plastic cake plates, glasses, forks, napkins, nut cups and table covers for 250 people would cost about $123 at Orson Gygi. Mini-eclairs and croissant sandwiches from Schmidt's Pastry Cottage are $65 and $129 per hundred, respectively.
The price of punch can vary greatly. One caterer charges 99 cents per serving for sparkling lemonade or citrus pinch. Sysco Intermountain Food Service, a restaurant supplier, charges about $24 for enough fruit-punch mix to serve 250.
The cake: On average, Salt Lakers pay $200 to $400 for a wedding cake.
The price of a cake will depend on how many layers, how elaborate the decorations and the type of frosting. Cakes with buttercream frosting are less expensive (and better tasting) than cakes with fondant frosting. Cakes can also be frosted with marzipan.
If you order a two-tier spice cake (a 10-inch layer topped by a 6-inch layer) at Leslie's French Pastries in Holladay, it will serve 50 people and cost $168. The bakery can construct larger sizes up to a 5-layer cake, which serves 400.
Wedding guides will tell you to order the cake six months in advance, but Leslie's clerk Jeanne Nixon says they can get by with a week's notice. At the bakery you can look through a book and select intricate and fancy decorations — or choose a plain cake to be adorned with fresh flowers.
Fondant frosting is the trend. "Most of the girls want rolled fondant frosting," says Barbara Wachs of Exclusive Wedding Cakes by Barbara. "It comes out of England. You roll it out like a pie crust. It's the satiny, plain look."
It's apparently all about aesthetics. "It's (the frosting) edible, but it doesn't taste very good," she says.
She's known for her blown sugar bubbles, which can be flavored with mint, lime, or even root beer. Each piece of cake is served with a bubble.
Kathryn Clayton contributed to this story.
E-MAIL: susan@desnews.com