Children need to be given regular chores in the home and, according to a new BYU study, it may not be in their best interest to pay them.
Kathleen Slaugh Bahr, a BYU associate professor in the School of Family Life, said while children are on summer holiday, they will benefit from opportunities to work alongside their parents. Summertime, she said, is a great time to teach children to love, to give service and to avoid idleness. However, she adds, paying children for their efforts may take away some of these benefits.
A preliminary study by Dr. Bahr and Kristine Manwaring, a graduate student in Sociology, examines the impact of paying children for work done at home and for family
For their study, 18 couples were interviewed about their beliefs and practices regarding children's participation in the daily work of family life, how they teach their children about money and the connections parents make between these two tasks. They learned it is common for parents to be generous in the money they give their children, but that many of the children who are given money receive very little guidance in how that money should be used. "It's their money," parents say.
Parents don't realize that they are teaching children to indulge themselves, Dr. Bahr said, noting that many children today are not learning the joy of serving family members or others. "As soon as you pay a child, it is no longer service," she said. "This isn't to say paying them is always or necessarily a bad thing to do, but it does change the meaning of the work."
Sister Manwaring, who will defend her master's thesis this month on families and work, said her research found that many parents pay their children for chores because it seems a good way to give them money. They want children to learn money management.
However, Sister Manwaring said her research showed that the main thing the children learn is how to spend money, not how to manage money wisely.
The families in the study who were the most successful put money in a broader context; children learn about finances by being involved in family finances. For example, when children are aware parents are paying tithing, they learn about paying tithing.
Children who are not paid for work are also more likely to help siblings with chores, Dr. Bahr said. "If you ask a child to do something and they say, 'What will you pay me?' you know you have a problem. . . . What happens when you start giving children money for work is that you run the risk of the children confusing money with love. Then when money is withheld from the child, it may feel like love is being withheld."
Sister Manwaring agrees. "We found the parents who didn't pay their children for chores have an easier time asking their kids to do anything extra. [Children who are paid for chores] lose the idea that we all help out to do whatever is necessary."
During their research, Dr. Bahr and Sister Manwaring also found a few families who successfully pay children for chores. However, those families had several similarities: the children have responsibilities for which they are not paid, parents closely supervise how children's money is spent and insist children save a large percentage of it, and parents encourage children to use the money in ways that would be pleasing to the Lord. When parents choose to give their children money it is best if they "keep tight control of how the money is used and teach the children to be appropriately generous with it," Dr. Bahr said.
And Dr. Bahr noted that, pay or no pay, many parents are faced with the challenge of finding work for their children to do. Computers, video games and television can consume much of a child's time, keeping them busy without the need for constant parental supervision. It is work, she said, to teach children to work.
Referring to a recent article in the Deseret Morning News, she said new synthetic sod can now replace lawns and the need for mowing, watering and trimming. As modern technology makes life easier, parents may need to search for work for their children in their neighborhood or in their community, she said.
The scriptures teach the way to help children avoid idleness and greed, Dr. Bahr concluded. "It is to heed the advice of King Benjamin, who admonished parents to teach their children to love one another, and to serve one another (Mosiah 4:15). Working together in our families, neighborhoods and communities is a good way to teach both love and service."
E-mail: sarah@desnews.com