Ted Kaye is a vexillologist, which means he's a student of flags. He knows flags like Martha Stewart knows stock brokers.
And he thinks Utah's state flag could use a little help.
It's nothing personal. Ted isn't a Utahn, has never been a Utahn and has no plans to become a Utahn. He lives in Portland, Ore., where he wrote the text for his booklet "Good Flag, Bad Flag," a top-seller of the North American Vexillological Association, of which Ted is a longtime member in good standing.
It's just that when you place Utah's flag alongside the check list of "good" flags, it goes zero for five.
A good flag, according to Mr. Kaye, should be simple, incorporate one symbol (two at the most), have two or three colors, omit any lettering or seals and should be distinguishable.
If you've taken a close look at Utah's flag, you know that it satisfies none of these requirements.
Ted Kaye calls it "A big blob on a blue background."
But it's not just Ted who thinks so. Two years ago, the NAVA surveyed its membership and the general public to rate all of the state flags in the United States and the provincial flags in Canada.
Of the 72 states and provinces, the winner was New Mexico, followed closely by Texas and Quebec.
Utah finished 58th. Well out of the playoffs. An also-ran (or also-waved).
Our flag was mired in a group of 25 largely indistinguishable blobs that vexillologists like to call "Seals on bedsheets" (An accurate appraisal, in Utah's case, since our flag is the state seal mounted on a blue cloth).
"If its purpose is to distinguish Utah from any other flag, it fails that purpose utterly," says Ted. "Here's what I'd love to do. I would love to take the governor of Utah to one of the places in the country that flies all 50 flags — there are a number of such places, Jamestown comes to mind — and I would march him back 100 yards and say, 'Governor, tell me which one is your flag.'"
Ted thinks it might be an appropriate time to update Utah's flag on the occasion of its 100th birthday that is swiftly approaching this October.
"Flags change," he says, "it doesn't have to be a bad thing."
He notes that Canada changed its flag in the mid-1960s, creating the maple leaf design that has since become a Canadian icon. He further notes that the state of Georgia changed its flag following the aforementioned NAVA survey of 2001.
Georgia's flag came in dead last, 72 out of 72, in that survey. One critic called it a "Denny's placemat" and then took it back so as not to offend Denny's.
The Georgia legislature got the point and changed the flag.
Other states, according to Ted, are currently considering flag changes, among them Nebraska and Minnesota.
Whether Utah will follow suit is up in the air, although a change-the-flag campaign orchestrated in the spring of 2002 by the Salt Lake Tribune — in response, Ted believes, to the NAVA survey — didn't effect immediate action.
I told Ted I'd try to gauge the mood of the state by polling Morning News readers. If you are so inclined, please send an e-mail to the address listed below:
Yes, I agree with flag connoisseurs who think Utah's flag should be changed without a moment's delay.
No. Don't change the flag. It's fine just the way it is.
We'll run the answers up the flag pole and see what happens.
Lee Benson's column runs Sunday, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Please send e-mail to benson@desnews.com.