If all teenage boys think about is sex, sex and more sex, then the producers and writers of "life as we know it" have captured the teenage boy perfectly. Because all that the male teenage characters on the show think about (and talk about and sometimes participate in) is sex, sex and more sex.
"How are you supposed to go to school when all you can think about is sex?" one of the characters asks early in tonight's premiere (8 p.m., ABC/Ch. 4).
For that matter, it must be tough turning out scripts when all you can think about is sex.
The hourlong drama features actors who look too old to be high schoolers, sort of like, say, "Dawson's Creek." And, in the premiere, one of the boys wants to have sex with a teacher and another discovers that his mother is having an affair, which is just the way "Dawson's Creek" started out.
Just a coincidence, we're assured. (The show is based on Melvin Burgess' novel, "Doing It.")
Anyway, the show revolves around three best buddies. Dino (Sean Faris) is the popular, athletic one who's pressuring his girlfriend to have sex. Ben (Jon Foster) is the smart one who wants to have sex with his English teacher. Jonathan (Chris Lowell), the shyest of the three who doesn't know how to handle his relationship with his friend and possible girlfriend (Kelly Osbourne — yes, that Kelly Osbourne), who isn't exactly a teenage boy's image of the ideal woman.
If the obsession with sex seems calculated, well, it is.
"We wanted to push it," said executive producer Jeff Judah. "You're trying to find what that line is and you push it. . . . You're doing it, trying to make it real, like kids and teenagers talk."
Not that he's willing to admit that "life as we know it" is all about sex, sex and more sex.
"I think in the pilot it's more than teenage sexuality," Judah said. "It's also friendships. . . . It is about the relationships and just growing up, and what it's like to be a teenager."
There's actually a good show in here someplace. There are some good characters and interpersonal dynamics and lots of potential for what could be a thoughtful, interesting hour.
And there's even a hint that maybe, just maybe, the writers will tone it down a bit in succeeding episodes.
"I think that the pilot, obviously, focuses a lot on the kids being promiscuous," said D.B. Sweeney, who stars as Dino's father. "I think you have to do certain things in the pilot to get your network's attention — to break through. . . . So maybe you push a little further in the first show."
But that doesn't change the fact that the pilot is full of sex, sex and more sex. And this rather blatant attempt to break through against "CSI" and "The Apprentice" and grab an audience is a tactic that might have the opposite effect by driving viewers away.
DREW CAREY'S GREEN SCREEN SHOW (7:30 p.m., Ch. 30) is essentially "Who's Line Is It Anyway?" with special effects.
Carey and a group of his pals — including Brad Sherwood, Colin Mochrie, Greg Proops, Jeff Davis, Chip Esten, Jonathan Mangum, Julie Larson, Sean Masterson and Kathy Kinney — perform in front of a live audience doing various improvisation-comedy bits. They're also in front of a green screen (thus, the title), which allows computer wizards to go in afterward and add various backgrounds, animation and other whiz-bang effects.
The goal is to make the effects yet another facet of the improvisation, and it works. Sometimes. Just the way parts of the "regular" comedy work better than other parts.
"It's a tough show to do, but it's worth it, because it's so innovative and funny and unique," Carey said.
Innovative, sure. Unique, OK. Funny, sometimes.
E-mail: pierce@desnews.com