Swoops Candy Slices. York, Reese's, Peter Paul Almond Joy and Hershey's Milk Chocolate. $1.99 per 3.78-ounce carton containing three cups.
Bonnie: Think Pringles meets Hershey's candy bars and you'll have a handle on new Swoops, the wavy, solid chocolate candy slices. They're portion-controlled, being packaged in three sealed cups, each containing six uniform slivers of candy. One cup is about 190 calories and 11 grams of fat. But one slice is only about 30 calories and less than 2 grams of fat. A Hershey's Kiss, by comparison, is slightly less, with 25 calories. The real question comes from Pringles competitor Lay's: Can you eat only one?
Carolyn: Not me, Bonnie. Eating only one of these candy Pringles doesn't even make much practical sense because these single-serve plastic cups are not resealable.
Pringles' similar Snack Stacks are designed to make Pringles more portable and snackable. But what could be more portable and snackable than a Hershey's or Almond Joy candy bar? That's why I suspect the new shape and container is here to make Hershey's candies seem more elegant or upscale.
Instead, Swoops are clunkily thick rather than delicate, made of mainstream milk rather than dark chocolate. And in the case of the York and Reese's, Swoops offer none of the textural variety that give their candy-bar counterparts at least part of their interest. (The York and Reese's Swoops, for instance, consist of mint and peanut butter-flavored chocolate rather than layers of chocolate and mint or peanut butter filling.) Only the Almond Joy contains real pieces of its signature add-in — coconut.
In other words, thanks, but I think I'll just have a candy bar.
Doritos Snack Chips. Baked, Nacho Cheesier, Cooler Ranch and Zesty Taco Rollitos. $3.39 per 13.5-ounce bag of Baked Doritos or $1.99 per 7.75-ounce bag of Rollitos.
Bonnie: We don't often see foods as truly new and innovative as Rollitos. They're Doritos rolled in a tight tube, making them much crunchier (and unfortunately a tad more fatty) than regular Doritos. Doritos lovers should love them — at least the plain.
But I like the Baked Doritos even better. That's mainly because they serve up lots less fat and fewer calories (although a bit more sodium) than regular Doritos while tasting almost as good. Like all Lay's chips, these contain zero trans fats.
Carolyn: Baked Doritos are Doritos without the slick gleam that frying gives them. In other words, they're a little bit flat and taste more like their corn base. And despite what Bonnie just said about them, Rollitos are not that much more exciting.
They're just the latest in a long line of minor variations Frito-Lay has used to create excitement about some old brand names (Doritos 3-D, Fritos Flavor Twisted and Cheetos Paws, among them). This one gives Doritos the thickness and crunch of Fritos — though not their pronounced corn taste. These also don't have a lot of flavoring on them, except for the Zesty Taco.
In fact, the most innovative thing about these is the look: like little hand-rolled cigarettes. Only if kids somehow see these as a substitute for smoking would Rollitos be as extraordinary as Bonnie says (but I think that's highly unlikely).
Heavens' Bistro Lowfat Frozen Pizza. Turkey Pepperoni, Chicken With BBQ Sauce, Grilled Vegetable, Three Cheese and Chicken Sausage. $4.99 per 13- to 15.5-ounce box.
Bonnie: As I put one of these new Heavens' Bistro pizzas in the oven, I wondered about the "All the taste, not on your waist!" boast on the box. In the case of the Chicken With BBQ Sauce, it seems to be true. The full-flavored sauce and red onions balance the flavorless fat-free cheeses. Unfortunately, this is not the case with the other flavors.
Nutritionally, all the Heavens' Bistros are low in fat and high in fiber. Each contains a mere 1 gram to 3 grams of fat and a hearty 4 grams of fiber for one-third of a tiny pizza. Too bad I can recommend only the BBQ chicken one.
Carolyn: Generally, Bonnie and I taste-test every flavor variety of every new product we write about. It only seems right, if we're going to pass judgment on something, to have this kind of complete information. But I am making an exception in the case of these Heavens' Bistro pizzas. I like myself too much to suffer through any more than three Heavens' Bistro dinners (the Grilled Vegetable, the Turkey Pepperoni and the Three Horrible Cheese — er, I mean, the Three Cheese).
I have never seen a pizza cook up so absolutely dry or yield so little flavor. (I suspect the former fact — evidence of this pizza's lack of fat — has a lot to do with the latter.) Eating this is absolutely pointless for anyone who isn't literally starving. Even grammar school ground-beef English muffin pizzas taste better.
In Heavens' Bistro's defense, I will say that the tasteless crust does have a good crispy texture. And the box graphics are upscale and appealing — misleadingly so.
In sum, if this is what they're serving in heaven, I'm going to be first in line for the other place.
Bonnie Tandy Leblang is a registered dietitian and professional speaker. Carolyn Wyman is a junk-food fanatic and author of "Jell-O: A Biography" (Harvest/Harcourt). Each week they critique three new food items. © Universal Press Syndicate