Buying: Look for a rich green color as a sign of tenderness. Also look for firm, straight stalks and closed, compact tips. If the tips are slightly wilted, you can freshen them up by soaking the asparagus in cold water, according to the California Asparagus Commission.
Trimming and peeling: You don't want to waste any of this precious veggie, but you do need to trim off the tough ends. Julee Rosso and Sheila Lukins offer this advice in their book, "The Silver Palate Cookbook": Bend the spear in half so the tip touches the bottom. The point where the stem starts to snap is where the tenderness begins. Cook the top; save the woody bottoms for soup or casseroles.
Since the asparagus tips cook more quickly than the tough-skinned stalks, some people like to peel the top layer of the stalks to ensure uniform cooking.
Keeping asparagus bright green: Sometimes the grayish cast isn't from overcooking but a chemical reaction caused when the lid is kept on the cooking pot. So keep the lid partly off when cooking asparagus, broccoli and other green veggies to allow gases to escape. Blanching is another trick. Submerge the veggies in boiling water for a minute or two, then into ice water.
Boiling: Cook fresh or frozen asparagus quickly in a small amount of water in a saucepan or steamer until tender. Allow about 10 minutes for fresh, 7 minutes for frozen.
Stir-fry: Stir-fry asparagus pieces in a small amount of hot oil or butter, stirring constantly until tender-crisp (about 3 to 5 minutes). You can add sliced almonds or walnuts for crunchy flavor.
Microwave: Place fresh spears in a microwaveable dish, add about 1/4 cup of water and partially cover, allowing space for some steam to escape. Microwave on high power 6-9 minutes for spears, 5-7 minutes for pieces. Stir to rearrange after cooking.
Roast: Toss spears in olive oil and salt and pepper to taste; place on baking sheet and roast at 450 degrees until lightly browned and tender, 10-15 minutes, shaking or tossing once during roasting. (Note: you'll have to sacrifice the bright-green color, but the high heat caramelizes the veggie's sugars, giving it more sweetness.)