High school students should not have to learn firsthand about violent death. They should not have to know that kids their own age can become so hateful and twisted and destructive that they can shatter the lives of those around them.
But on April 20, 1999, students at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colo., came face to face with those stark realities.
Michael Johnson was one of the students shot by seniors Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris as they went on a rampage through their school, which ultimately took the lives of 12 other students and one teacher, wounding 26 more.
However, the story that Johnson, and former fellow students Liz and Kathy Carlston, and Amber Huntington, tell in their book "Surviving Columbine" (Deseret Book, $11.95) is ultimately one of hope.
The message they want to convey is that "you shouldn't be surprised at the trials and problems you can handle with the support of God," said Johnson, who is in Salt Lake City this weekend with his mother (who also contributed to the book), and with Kathy Carlston and her parents, to share their experiences and talk about the book.
A lot of people tell Kathy Carlston that they don't know how she could get through what she did, "but I've learned that people are amazing creatures. They put their nose to the grindstone when it's go time. But life is not a game. And when you need it, God can pull you through. He can; he will. He takes great pleasure in doing so. The most important thing I've learned is that you are never alone. You literally have a friend at your side, wherever you go. That's a fact."
The students featured in the book all had very different experiences, but they share a common faith as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Johnson was one of the first students shot — once, in the leg, as he was sitting on the grass waiting for lunch, and then twice more, in the arm and in the back of the neck and jaw, as he was running up the hill to get away.
Liz Carlston also got away from the school fairly early, although in the confusion no one knew exactly what was happening, and it took a long time to hook up with her family. But, as a member of the girls basketball team, she shared a special relationship with Coach Sanders, the teacher who was killed.
Liz's sister Kathy was one of the students shut in the science room with the dying coach. Huntington was trapped in the library, and, in fact, was hiding under the table where the gunmen stopped to reload their weapons, but miraculously escaped physical injury.
As traumatic as the events of April 20 were, even more difficult was the aftermath, say the students. Because Johnson had to focus so much on healing physically, he feels he escaped some of the mental anguish that tormented the others. Huntington battled severe depression for more than a year after the shooting. The Carlston sisters also suffered from mental turmoil.
Five years later, however, they have all found peace. Johnson served an LDS mission in California and is currently a student at Metropolitan State College of Denver. Liz Carlston is currently on a Spanish-speaking mission in Oakland, Calif. Huntington is on a mission in Dallas, Texas. Kathy Carlston is a student at Brigham Young University, studying film and animation.
Kathy Carlston sums up the feelings of many as she talks about her experience. "The weeks and months following the shooting were torture. There was a time when I thought about it every day. I fell into a deep depression. I still struggle with that. There were times I wanted to give up. But I haven't. And that's the best decision I ever made — not to give up."
One of the most important things she's learned "is that every second of life is precious. It is worth fighting for."
The Carlston sisters' mother, Eileen, has been impressed with the resilience her daughters have shown and with the peace they have found. Liz was the one who instigated the book, she said, as part of her healing process. The whole thing was a "horrific, unbelievable experience," said Eileen. "I still have a difficult time understanding why individuals think they can act out at such a horrific expense to other people. But everybody has troubles that will stretch and test them. These kids' troubles were horrible and well-known. But the Lord protects and provides for and looks after everyone."
It has been a hard lesson, learned, perhaps, way too soon. But it has given the students a depth and wisdom beyond their years. "You don't realize what you can go through until you have to," said Johnson. "It's all about doing what you have to do to get through. Trials change you. You can't go into a trial and leave unchanged — for better or worse. That's your choice."
So many people still want to talk about Columbine, he said. "But they want to talk about the blood and gore. We want to talk about the hope."
E-mail: carma@desnews.com