HOLLYWOOD — Elaine Stritch has been appearing onstage ever since she understudied for Ethel Merman in "Call Me Madam" on Broadway more than half a century ago. At 79, she is — by her own description — "one hard-boiled broad," as she demonstrates in her Tony-winning one-woman show.
But an appearance before the Television Critics Association back in January to promote "Elaine Stritch at Liberty" — a filmed version of that one-woman show that premieres Saturday on HBO — the "hard-boiled broad" proved to be more than a bit susceptible to, well, not stage fright, but certainly some anxiety that her performance wouldn't go over well.
Not just her performance in "Liberty," but her performance at the press conference.
Stritch said her "heart dropped" when she asked the room full of critics if they liked the clip from her show that preceded the press conference and didn't hear much response — unaware that press-tour etiquette (if there is such a thing) is to not applaud or react at all when stars enter a room. And, unaccustomed to being asked questions as a group, there was indeed little response. Until somewhat shouted out, "We loved it!" in reference to the clip.
"OK, now, all right," Stritch said. "Thank you very much. But, I mean, it shows you what my insecurity is."
Insecurity? It's something that doesn't show onstage at all as she sings, dances and monologues her way through the story of her fascinating life.
It's brash, sometimes bawdy, sometimes touching and altogether enthralling.
"I put it all out, and I did as much as I possibly could in the time allotted," she said. "We had to cut some really good stuff. And that was heartbreaking, because, when you're telling more or less the story of your life, you don't want to leave out anything."
And Stritch is sort of worried about how it translates onto film.
"The change from live entertainment on the stage to putting it on film is one of the most terrifying crossovers I've ever done in my life. And it worries me half to death. When they (film) you up on the stage doing your show, you've got two emotions fighting each other. You want the film to be good, and yet you have a responsibility for entertaining that audience. . . . And you wonder — will I look good?
"It's very hard to accept yourself. . . . Every woman in the world wants to look good. Martha Raye wants to look good. Lily Tomlin wants to look good. Comediennes that are out there being funny — and it's frustrating."
She said that in the theater, there is "such a marvelous connection between live people and (performers). But in the film, you've got to bring that excitement over without being in-person."
Still, she agreed to film the special for HBO for the same reason she was "bound and determined to do a show by myself," Stritch said. "And it was terrifying. Not just being out there alone, but everything."
And, by everything, she meant the reviews. "You know what an actor does, if they're honest — they get the notice in the morning and they (scan down until) they see their name and they read it. I start at the top and it's all me. There's nobody else. So I have to face up to an entire evening. My responsibility. That's tough.
"And I want to tell you something. Ego — the real good kind of ego — is just having the confidence to go out there and perform and express the talent that God has given you. That's ego that you can do that.
"Other than that, I have no ego. It's awful hard to me to accept, 'You were brilliant!' I just die."
So why do it? Why not retire? "I don't know if that makes any sense to anybody, but it's like Christmas morning. It is so exciting to a kid. And then it gets to be Christmas night and they go, 'Now what?' " Stritch said. "So I guess my drug of choice is more. And I just get scared when everybody approves of me. And I get terrified when they don't."
And she can indeed take a compliment graciously. When I mentioned to an HBO executive that she should tell Stritch that the applause she received at the end of her press conference was definitely not the norm, the executive insisted I tell Stritch that myself. And she beamed when I told her that was one of the very few times I'd seen such a reaction in the 14 years I've been attending press tours.
"Oh, really? Thanks so much for telling me," Stritch said. "So — did you like the clip?"
If you watch. . .
What: "Elaine Stritch at Liberty"
Where: HBO
When: Saturday, 9 p.m.
E-mail: pierce@desnews.com