I lost my best friend because I kissed her boyfriend. It was all a big mistake, and I'm sorry for it, but she won't talk to me now. How can I let her know how sorry I am? — Laytoya, 15, Richlands, Va.
The reality is you're going to have to live with your decision and accept that whatever happens next between you and your friend is not going to be on your timetable. It really depends on when she'll be calm enough to get into it with you.
Best thing to do? Calmly ask her if you can talk to her. If she agrees, just be honest about what happened and why, and ask her what you can do to help the two of you get past this hurdle. If she won't speak to you, try sending her a handwritten letter. But remember, Laytoya, you have to respect her needs. If she's not ready to be your friend, give her time and space to heal. Hopefully, after a little while, she'll be ready to try being friends again. Until then, you might want to figure out why you made such a bad judgment call in the first place.
I just found out that I might have an STD (HPV). My parents know about it, but they told me that I will end up having to pay for any treatments or bills that come through, and I know I cannot do that. I'm so confused and lost and ashamed. I don't know what to do. — Anonymous, 15, Olympia, Wash.
It's moments like this when the phrase "the only safe sex is no sex" really hits home. I know it's too late and you've probably heard all that from your parents, so I'll leave it at that. But let's make an action plan for you so you feel less confused.
No. 1: Don't woe-is-me so much that you put off getting medical treatment. I know you're concerned about the money, but if you go to a clinic like Planned Parenthood, they offer gynecological care at reduced fees. Call 1-800-230-PLAN to find a clinic near you, and when you call to make an appointment, be honest about your financial situation and ask about the payment options that are available.
No. 2: You need to let your partner know what's going on so he can get tested too. I realize this isn't exactly the easiest conversation to have, and you might wonder why he can't just find out on his own the same way you did. But the fact is, before he does find out, he might infect other girls in the process — and it's worth it to stop this disease from spreading.
If you were close enough to him to have sex in the first place, then you should be close enough to have this conversation. Even if you're not close enough, at least be adult enough to follow through. The worst that can happen is you'll have an awkward conversation. I know what you're going through is especially tough because it's caused a rift in your relationship with your parents. Try to use it as something that will bring you closer together. So often, troubling times can do that because they force us to be more open and honest than we were being before. I wish that for you and your parents. But if for some reason the situation does not have a warm and fuzzy future in sight, you're still not alone. Call the National STD Hotline at 1-800-227-8922 to find a support group near you where you can talk to people who are going through the same exact thing.
Questions may be sent directly to Atoosa Rubenstein at: dearseventeen@hearst.com. Atoosa Rubenstein, the founding editor of CosmoGirl! magazine, is the editor in chief of Seventeen magazine. © King Features Syndicate Inc.