So it's got to be a coincidence that "Mr. 3000," a film about a surly former baseball star trying to attain a hitting milestone, is being released around the same time that Barry Bond, a surly current baseball star is trying to attain a hitting milestone, right?
Also, it's got to be a coincidence that the Major League Baseball team most prominently featured in the movie is the Milwaukee Brewers, an organization co-owned by Major League Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig, who just happened to put the MLB stamp of approval on the project, right?
Conspiracy theories aside, the biggest problem with "Mr. 3000" is that it's just not very funny. Oh, it's got Bernie Mac, who can be really funny when he's in the right material, or in the right role. But this just isn't it.
Still, it's not a terrible film. It's just predictable and lacking any sort of edge, despite its being surprisingly topical.
The title character is Stan Ross (Mac), a former Brewers slugger whose big accomplishment, both personally and professionally, is getting 3,000 hits in his career. And he believes that entitles him to enshrinement in the Baseball Hall of Fame.
Worse, he's been downright obnoxious about it. In fact, he's been so pushy that the Hall's statisticians have checked on his credentials and have discovered that three of his hits were actually counted twice — leaving him at 2,997 and pretty much ensuring that he won't be enshrined.
Undeterred, Stan decides to make a comeback at the age of 47, to get those three remaining hits. And with the struggling team needing to get warm bodies — any bodies — in the seats, the general manager (Chris Noth) agrees to give Stan a chance to make the roster.
Unfortunately, the game may have passed him by. After an initial home stand (three games in a row), he's gone hitless. He also fumbles away a chance to get back together with sports reporter Mo Simmons (Angela Bassett).
The material is very predictable. And director Charles Stone III is never able to establish a consistent tone — at least not one that seems appropriate for this material. Although the unlikely pairing of Mac and Bassett does strike some sparks, so it's not completely unwatchable.
"Mr. 3000" is rated PG-13 for occasional use of strong profanity, use of crude slang terms and gestures (as well as some sexual innuendo), some sports-related violence (including some near brawling), and some brief sexual contact. Running time: 104 minutes.
E-MAIL: jeff@desnews.com