What? Animal Planet has run out of real animals to do shows about so now it's doing fake animals?
Dumb as it sounds, "Dragons: A Fantasy Made Real" (Sunday, 6, 8 and 10 p.m., Animal Planet) is cool. Very cool.
Produced to look like "Walking with Dinosaurs" and other specials of that type, "Dragons" employs amazing CGI effects, science applied to fantasy and the mellifluous narration of Patrick Stewart to weave a spellbinding pseudo-documentary that could almost make you believe . . .
. . . that the preserved body of a dragon was found frozen in the Carpathian mountains.
. . . that dragons date to the time of the dinosaurs.
. . . that there are scientific explanations for why they could fly and breathe fire.
. . . that man did dragons in.
Just don't be surprised if your kids come away from watching "Dragons" convinced that it's all true.
I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU that "Spring Break: Shark Attack" is awful, do I? I mean, just look at the title. Which also summarizes the CBS movie (Sunday, 8 p.m., Ch. 2) — sharks eat college kids who are partying in Florida.
How bad is it? It's awful. And on so many different levels.
It's bad family drama. It's bad teen sex comedy. It's bad horror film. It's bad writing, bad acting, bad directing, bad special effects. Bad, bad, bad.
I blame you. Or perhaps I should say "us." When so many viewers tuned in to see the dreadful "Category 6: Day of Destruction" in November, CBS ordered this movie from the producers of that movie.
Oh, and we've got one more — titled "Locusts" — coming at us next month.
Please stop watching this crud. I beg you.
E-mail: pierce@desnews.com