THE PERFECT MAN — ** — Hilary Duff, Heather Locklear, Chris Noth; rated PG (vulgarity, mild profanity).
At one point in "The Perfect Man," someone jokes about the stupidity of mixing peanut butter and glue in a sandwich. Ironically, that serves as a bit of a metaphor for the film.
As a vehicle for Heather Locklear, the movie is a tasty enough concoction. Unfortunately, however, her storyline has been sandwiched with a pretty gooey, unpleasant plot that prominently features Hilary Duff.
The two halves of the movie don't work well together, and not just because of Duff . . . although her acting isn't getting better. Her character here is full of wrong-headed sentiment and cruelty that is supposed to be endearing.
Duff stars as Holly Hamilton, an exasperated teen whose single-mother Jean (Locklear) changes jobs and cities after every bad romantic breakup, taking Holly and her younger sister Zoe (Aria Wallace) with her.
That's how they've landed in New York City. But this time, Holly is determined to see that the family stays put. So, with help from her new best friend Amy (irksome Vanessa Lengies), Holly concocts a false romance to placate her lovelorn mother.
Jean believes the romantic attention is coming from Lenny (Mike O'Malley), a well-meaning but dorky co-worker whose taste is stuck in the 1970s. To combat that, Holly turns to Amy's romance-expert uncle Ben (Chris Noth), who suggests sending flowers and a well-timed song. After awhile, Holly is stuck in a web of lies.
It's painfully obvious where all of this is going. Worse, the filmmakers have chosen to write off the cruelty of Holly's deception as good, lighthearted fun. (This may be the least sympathetic, most selfish character Duff has played.)
Director Mark Rosman and screenwriter Gina Wendkos (the "Princess Diaries" movies) have also chosen to focus most of the story on Duff rather than Locklear, who still has considerable presence, and whose story line at least has some potential.
They also don't give Noth much to do, as his character is pretty one-note. Supporting performers O'Malley and, to a lesser degree, Caroline Rhea are apparently in the film as objects of humiliation.
"The Perfect Man" is rated PG for some vulgar references to bodily functions and some questionable humor, as well as some scattered use of mild profanity (mostly religiously based). Running time: 96 minutes.
E-mail: jeff@desnews.com