UTAH STATE PRISON — A 27-year-old woman in prison for killing her 21-month-old stepson doesn't know if she should ever get out of prison.
The victim's biological mother wants Sarah Marie Berry to stay in prison at least 15 years and serve out her sentence, which expires in 2016.
Berry didn't disagree at her parole hearing Tuesday.
"Sometimes I feel I should never get out," she said. "Because what do I have to look forward to?"
But a report from the prison recommends that Berry be immediately released from prison to a community correctional center.
The Board of Pardons and Parole is expected to decide Sarah Marie Berry's fate within a month.
On Sept. 5, 2000, Centerville police responded to a report of a child with serious injuries.
Nick Berry, Jandson Cayle Berry's father, was upstairs giving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to the boy, and stepmother Sarah Berry had told police the child had fallen down the stairs.
But police later determined that couldn't have happened, and Sarah Berry admitted to them she had picked Jandson up by his arms and legs to toss him in his crib. As she did so, his head slammed against the side of the crib.
He was pronounced dead the next day.
Berry has served four years of a 1-to-15-year term in prison after pleading guilty to child abuse homicide. She had originally been charged with murder, manslaughter and child abuse homicide, but a plea deal allowed the first two charges to be dropped, according to court records.
"There's no amount of sorrow that I feel or apologies I can give," Berry said. "What I took can never be replaced."
Berry sobbed through her five-minute testimony. So did Elizabeth LeFevre, the boy's mother. LeFevre had been crying before Berry was brought into the hearing room, shackled and dressed in a white shirt and white pants.
Berry continued: "My actions were not meant to harm, but they did. . . . I don't expect forgiveness."
Parole hearing officer Ron McCloud agreed with her.
"There's nothing you're going to be able to say that's going to ease the pain of the mother," he said.
Elizabeth LeFevre says she feels like there is a wall between her and the rest of the world. It's like there's a hole in her heart forever, she said.
"When people ask how many children you have, and you say two and think three," she said. "On the day of Sarah's sentencing, the prosecuting attorney asked me to write down how I felt so I'd never forget. I never forget. I never forget.
"I held him when he came into the world, and I held him when he took his last breath. When they buried him, I felt like I should be buried with him."
Berry gave up her parental rights to her daughters, who now live with separate fathers. Nick Berry divorced her in 2001.
He said he didn't have his recommendation for the five-member board yet, but he will give one soon.
Berry should have the board's decision in writing within 30 days, McCloud said.
E-mail: jdougherty@desnews.com