Keri Lynn Jones says she doesn't want to be a poster model for gay rights, she just wants to be a parent.
In her west-side home, she looks at the empty room of the 4-year-old girl she's known and helped care for since birth — the daughter of her former partner.
"This is a princess room; she's a princess," Jones said, pointing out the pastel room adorned with various costumes and a canopied bed. In the hallway, there are pictures of the smiling little girl taking a bath and playing.
However, the girl's mother, Cheryl Pike Barlow, says as the biological mother, she has a right to keep her daughter away from a life that she has since abandoned.
It is a story of two women, who despite their love shared over a smiling little girl, are divided over how she should be reared and who should be in her life.
Tomorrow, the Utah Supreme Court will hear arguments in a case that has the potential to explode beyond the courtroom and into a full-blown political battle over everything from gay rights to parental rights.
But the issue before the state's higher court has been narrowed to one issue: Can a judge order a parental relationship between a non-biological adult and a child against the wish of a biological parent?
It's an issue that will test common law court rulings in Utah that in the past have allowed visitation by divorced step-parents. Yet those who support Barlow point to U.S. Supreme Court rulings that establish a biological parent's right to hold the ultimate decision if they are deemed a fit parent.
The two women met in early 2000. "Probably after we were dating six months maybe, we decided we wanted to have a baby in the next year so we spent a lot of time talking to our attorney," Jones said.
Jones contends they both intended to rear this child together, even setting up a revolving power of attorney every six months for Jones and the baby, because Utah law prevents Jones from adopting. Jones also placed the child on her work's health insurance policy.
After the birth, Jones said they set up co-guardianship and legal wills. The girl's name was legally established as Jones-Barlow, which was later changed by the mother to just Barlow.
"We went through the process of picking out a sperm donor to look just like me, or my brother," Jones said.
At the beginning both women shared in the joy of the birth, but that didn't last. Barlow said she discovered Jones was having an affair with another woman and left the relationship.
"Even after she moved out we still had planned on having joint 'something,' but I was still seeing (the child) on the weekends," Jones said.
"I did enter into this relationship thinking she and I could have a life together," Barlow said. "I was dead wrong."
After the breakup, Barlow said that she "left the gay lifestyle" and converted to an evangelical Christian faith.
Barlow said Jones has no legal ties to her daughter and as a mother, she should decide if Jones can see the girl.
"I never elected a legal relationship with her," Barlow said. "Nor did I put myself in the position that she would have legal rights to my child. . . . In the eyes of Utah law, (Jones) is nothing but a roommate to me."
However, a district court judge disagreed.
After a series of tense hearings, 3rd District Judge Timothy Hanson ruled last December that although Jones had no legal right by adoption or marriage, there was a parental relationship between the girl and Jones and in the best interest of the child, Jones was ordered visitation.
"This case is not about gay marriage. This case is not about gay adoption. What this case is about is whether or not a child is better off in this rather uncertain world with as many people as possible taking an interest in the child, both financially and emotionally," Hanson wrote in his decision.
The judge also noted that the couple traveled to Vermont to register as domestic partners.
Barlow acknowledged that she has taken a different direction in her life. Once a gay activist who was on the board of governors for the Human Rights Campaign and active in other gay/lesbian organizations, Barlow said she left that life behind and now feels that she is being punished for it. She said she has received "backlash" from the gay community.
"My client used to be in that lifestyle," said attorney Frank Mylar. "She completely left that lifestyle and found that those relationships don't work and don't last."
Mylar said this is a parental rights issue. "You have somebody who is a fit natural parent and somebody who claims that they should have rights to a child, even though they do not have any legal relation to the child either by blood or marriage."
"Where does it end? School teachers, day-care providers? This opens a Pandora's Box," said Mylar.
Jones' attorney, Lauren Barros, said the core issue is what is in the best interest of the child. If local legal doctrine is overturned by the Utah Supreme Court, Barros said the consequences will affect anyone not in a legal marriage who is raising and caring for a non-biological child without the benefit of adoption.
"I think that the precedent around the country also supports the rights of people who have a special parent relationship with a child," Barros said.
Both sides have garnered the help of activist organizations, who have provided legal services. Barlow's claim is being supported by the Alliance Defense Fund, an Arizona-based conservative Christian organization.
Jones is being supported by the National Center for Lesbian Rights in California.
The potential for this to become a heated political issue is there.
Already members of the Utah Legislature and the American Civil Liberties Union have taken notice. Both sides had inquired about submitting briefs to the Utah Supreme Court but were rejected by the court in an apparent attempt to keep the legal issue narrowed to a parental role relationship.
There already are indications that state lawmakers may bring forward legislation dealing with "in loco parentis" which is Latin for "instead of a parent."
The prospect of winning before the Utah Supreme Court only to have the Legislature step in scares Jones. She said there were family members, doctors, lawyers and many others involved in the birth and raising of the girl.
"To all of a sudden to think that you're just going to be written off as a roommate and that I'm just some stranger trying to take away her child. . . . I mean my mom was there at her birth," Jones said.
But Jones admits that Barlow is a great mom who does care for her daughter. "She's actually a really great mom. I hate saying that, but she really is. She loves that little girl more than anything," Jones said.
Barlow said lifestyles aside, she just doesn't want to have anything to do with Jones specifically.
"I've missed men in my life," Barlow said. "I looked at the history of my life and thought, 'That is not going to be my life' and I wanted more for my daughter."
Already the legal fight and court-ordered visitation have taken their toll on her daughter, Barlow said. The two have moved to Texas. Since then, she said, her daughter has began exhibiting aggression, confusion and other behavioral problems.
Barlow said she has no problem with gay couples and still stays in touch with other lesbian friends. She even supports the laws being changed to allow gay couples to adopt. But as a mother, she says, she has a right to do what she thinks is best for her child.
"I feel as if my rights have been stripped away," Barlow said. "After a fleeting three-year relationship, I feel I'm now being prevented from taking care of her; I have to sit back and watch her suffer."
E-mail: gfattah@desnews.com