"Everybody is dressing this way." "It's today's fashion." "It's what all the kids are wearing."
You've probably heard them all in justification of immodest dress. Then there's this excuse: "But it's a special occasion."
Don't try that one on Carmen Rasmusen.
The former "American Idol" contestant stood up to a top Hollywood fashion designer. He wanted to dress her in a halter top and mini-skirt for a magazine shoot promoting the popular TV reality show. The Bountiful, Utah, native told him, "No."
"You can always justify," Carmen Rasmusen Herbert, who recently married in the Bountiful Utah Temple, told the Church News. "Under no circumstances is there ever any reason to be immodest, whether it's a high school prom, or whether it's national television, or whether you're going out with a really cute boy.
"My parents always taught me, your body is sacred," said the petite blonde who in 2003 made the top 6 for "American Idol" out of some 70,000 auditioners. She was 17 years old then and a senior in high school. She was not named the "American Idol," but today, the 20-year-old is married to Brad Herbert and is working on her singing career in Nashville, Tenn. She was recently named "Best New Country Artist of the Year" by New Music Weekly and has appeared on other TV programs and performed in several concerts.
Through it all, she became most notable for her stand on modesty. In fact, her professional contracts include the provision that she has control over her dress. This after several weeks of standing up to "American Idols" wardrobe designers that she would not bare her stomach or wear sleeveless shirts. That battle with the top Hollywood fashion designer? The modest outfit she wore looked so good she got a two-page spread in the magazine, while the other contestants got one.
And her standards have not changed since being seen by millions on television.
In fact, she added, standing up for her standards was "almost easy for me because I had already made the commitment to be modest."
It's this commitment that Church leaders have spoken of in recent general conferences. In the October 2005 general conference, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve declared: "For you to fully claim Heavenly Father's blessings and protection, we ask you to stay true to the standards of the gospel of Jesus Christ and not slavishly follow the whims of fads and fashions. The Church will never deny your moral agency regarding what you should wear and exactly how you should look. But the Church will always declare standards and will always teach principles. . . . In the gospel of Jesus Christ, modesty in appearance is always in fashion. Our standards are not socially negotiable."
In today's society, the message sent constantly to young women is, "Your worth is based upon your appearance. And if you've got it, flaunt it." These messages are reaching the ears — and eyes — of Latter-day Saint young people who, for the most part, stand apart from their counterparts in terms of modesty, but who are still not immune.
"It reverts back to identity," said Young Women General President Susan W. Tanner. "I think the whole thing about those teenage years is a quest for identity. That's where we come in as leaders and parents to help them learn who they are."
Sister Tanner, who also addressed the recent conference on this subject, met with the Church News to discuss modesty and why youth in general struggle with this issue. She emphasized that she is pleased with the modest appearance of most Latter-day Saint young women but is concerned about how society's messages are affecting others.
The answer, she surmises, always goes back to identity — that of daughters of Heavenly Father. "If they could just understand what that means, then they would dress as daughters of God."
She referred to Moses, chapter one, in the Pearl of Great Price, where Moses "saw God face to face, and then he knew who he was — 'You are my son, you are made in my image.' If every young woman knows that, she'll respond the way Moses did."
Expounding, she referred to verses 13-15, during which Moses, after being confronted by Satan, asks, "Where is thy glory, that I should worship thee? . . . I can judge between thee and God."
If young women know who they are, then they can judge between that knowledge and the misleading messages of society, she explained.
However, Sister Tanner emphasized, it's important for leaders and parents to understand where young women are coming from. "One of their perceived greatest needs is acceptance. You see them acting like their peers. They dress like each other, they have the same mannerisms."
And they are seeking this acceptance in a world lacking respect for just about everything, "including our bodies," she said. Without good role models, "our kids don't get values anywhere."
That's where righteous mothers and fathers and good leaders come in, she continued. And you can make modesty fun with group experiments or fashion shows (such as those featured occasionally in the Church News). One group of young women in Kansas approached the heads of a nationwide department store and requested more modest prom dresses and fashions. They ended up being invited to give a presentation and made national and international news. (Please see the April 28, 2001, Church News.)
Teach the principles, Sister Tanner emphasized, help young people have a deep understanding of who they are — and then let them govern themselves.
There may not be another Carmen Rasmusen on "American Idol," but there will always be a Jenny Rodgers. The 16-year-old member of the Pringle Ward, Salem Oregon Stake, said the message young people are receiving from television and other media is "if you don't wear as much, you're prettier. That's what it's telling me."
But she isn't listening. The daughter of Gary and Loraine Rodgers, Jenny lost her father in 2000 from heart disease. "I want him to be proud of me. I want him to have a smile on his face. He's still alive to me."
But the main reason she dresses modestly is even more personal. "One of my standards is don't wear anything I wouldn't be comfortable wearing in front of Jesus Christ. If I'm not comfortable wearing it in front of the Lord, why wear E-mail to:julied@desnews.com