OREM — There's a 5-week-old message on Daniel Nash's answering machine he can't bring himself to erase.
The message is from Nash's ex-wife, Tonja, who called with a report about their sons' trip to the dentist.
A few hours later, Nash, who lives in Arizona, received another telephone call. This time, it was his 12-year-old son, crying and talking hysterically — something about a gun. Two shots. His mom.
The boy said his mother, Tonja Marie Nash, had been shot twice in the back and her boyfriend was accused of shooting her.
So much has happened since that phone call.
Tonja's boyfriend, Keith Morton, was arrested and booked into the Utah County Jail, memorial services were planned and held for Tonja Nash and her children moved to Tucson to be with their father and begin school again there.
But picking up the pieces and moving on will take some time, Daniel Nash said during a phone interview with the Deseret Morning News.
"I think it's going to be a slow awakening of the reality," Nash said. "I don't know that it's all really sunk home for them. I told the children that ... the young people that leave our world are called upon to be angels."
Daniel Nash and Tonja Granica — whom the family always called Toni — met through mutual friends and were married in April 1994 in Tucson, having been together since 1990.
The couple divorced in 2003, Nash said, believing they could be better friends if they had some space.
After an amicable, out-of-court divorce, Nash said Toni, who was 40 at the time of her death, was having a tough time being a single mom, so he took care of their three children — Danielle, 15, Dakota 12, and Ryan, 9.
The family didn't hear much from Toni for a while, until she called from Orem, where she had joined Morton in 2005. The two met through an online poker site. "She sounded very happy, very excited," Nash said. "I think she was very much wanting a good stable relationship and a new start. She loved the town, loved the people and she loved Keith. She was so much wanting a good life up there.
"She certainly knew him — knew whatever he (portrayed) himself to be — through the Internet," Nash said. "I think it probably blind-sided her when these things started coming out."
These things included an incident last Thanksgiving. Morton tried to strangle Nash after a fight over a turkey dinner.
Morton pleaded guilty to class B misdemeanors of assault and interruption of a communication device in municipal court in Orem. Daniel Nash said he never knew about the incident.
The first time Daniel Nash met Morton was last Christmas when he took the three kids to spend time with their mom for the holidays.
They met again in July, when Daniel Nash visited Utah. That's when Daniel and Tonja decided the two boys would live with their mom for a while.
"There (were) no signs," Nash said. "Never did (the kids) indicate that (Morton) was abusive or violent, anything to that nature, so I had no warning."
In Orem, Toni for the last six months had managed contracts for Gold's Gyms corporate headquarters, which closed its office the day after her death Oct. 16.
"It was pretty devastating," said Terri Calton, corporate office manager of Utah's Gold's Gyms. "We're like a family here."
Calton said Toni would put notes of encouragement on people's desk and leave them pieces of their favorite candy.
"She looked out for folks in the office," Calton said. "It was the little things you missed (seeing) until she wasn't here."
Growing up in Arizona, Toni had wanted to be a dental assistant. She changed her mind, however, when she realized she couldn't stand blood, Daniel Nash said.
"She loved animals and would often talk about (how she wished) she were a vet," Nash said. "I don't know how many animals we took in over the years. She couldn't say no to a stray puppy or cat, or goat or chickens. Our house was like a zoo."
The couple and their three children would often visit friends on their Arizona ranch. The children would run through the alfalfa fields while Toni spent time with the horses, burying her nose in their manes to smell them, Nash said.
"Her dreams were to have some property and a horse and watch the grandkids grow up," Nash said.
But she didn't even live to see her children grow up.
Nash said he's now doing his best to help the two boys regain a normal routine.
"I'm filling their after-school time with various activities to keep their minds busy," Nash said. "(They) have moments where they get sad — you can tell they're thinking about their mother. I let them talk about it, I encourage them to get their feelings out."
The children haven't started any professional therapy yet, but they will soon, Nash said.
For their father, part of the healing process means speaking out so something like this doesn't happen again.
"Don't be ashamed of the violence," Nash said, his advice to abused women. "We didn't know about it. She was too proud. She was the kind of woman who would handle her own problems. Don't hide it. Take steps and take action. The longer you wait, it's not going to get better, and it can end in tragedy."
Some of that tragedy could have been avoided, Nash believes, had there been a gun lock or something to slow Morton down the night of Oct. 16.
"Anything besides just a loaded weapon sitting there, ready to fire, can mean the difference," he said.
However, Nash is not bitter, nor looking for revenge — even though Morton, charged with aggravated murder, could face the death penalty.
"I do not wish the death penalty on (Morton)," Nash said. "I'd like to see him imprisoned, but he has children. One family is already suffering from the loss of a parent, I don't think both sides need to do that."
As a step in the healing process, the Nash family will plant a tree in the spring in Toni's honor.
They'll also keep playing the "miles and miles of family video tapes," looking through pictures and talking about the woman with the brown eyes, auburn-tinted hair and "glass half-full type of personality," Nash said.
"We'll talk about the good things — about the way she made casserole versus the way grandma made it," Nash said. "The children are working toward accepting what happened."
E-mail: sisraelsen@desnews.com