Dear Son,
By the time you read this, you'll be married. Married! I can't believe it! Didn't we just go to Grand Central and buy you that way cool yellow backpack with all the zippers for the first day of kindergarten?
Well. OK. Obviously not. For one thing, Grand Central hasn't been around for like a billion years. And for another, they don't let you get married when you're in kindergarten, even here in Utah.
No. You're definitely old enough to get married — and may I say how THRILLED your dad and I are that you didn't let this absolutely fabulous girl slip away. Way to go, son! Your new bride is smart and gorgeous and good — pretty much everything we would have wanted in a daughter, if we'd ever had one of those ourselves.
(Speaking of which, it's been interesting to watch your brothers adjust to having a female who's not their mother around the house. They're shy! But interested! Also, they're not walking around half naked! Yes! Finally those guys are putting on some clothes before they come downstairs!)
Anyway, I do have you in my heart right now. It's late and I'm sitting on the back porch, thinking of you while looking at a sliver of a moon glide across the sky. What can I say to you that I haven't already said in the past 25 years? After all, a marriage is an occasion that warrants our best words, is it not?
Should I tell you how to behave toward your new wife? If that's the case, then I would tell you to be kind. This seems pretty obvious, I realize. Or at least it seemed pretty obvious to me the day Dr. Marden Clark mentioned this in our English class when I was a sophomore at BYU. Married people should always remember to be kind to each other, he said, momentarily lost in thought. Dr. Clark of the piercing blue eyes was a man with a taste for subtlety, so I was a little disappointed in his comment.
Yes! Of course! Kindness is a completely good thing. Can we please move on?
But what I didn't understand then was that he spoke with the moral authority of a man who had been married a long time. And he really knew.
So. There you have it. Be kind to your wife. For better, for worse. For richer, for poorer. In sickness and in health. Always. And because you are already kind, I am happy to say that this will come naturally for you.
What else can I say? Should I tell you what I want for you? I suppose I want all the things parents want for their adult children. Lasting love. Family. Meaningful work. Friendships. A house. Good books. Good meals. A garden. Trips to different places. Lots of laughs. Some sadness and enough hardship to make you strong. Things unseen to touch your soul.
But what I really want is for you to know and love another person from the moment he or she takes that first impossible breath. A nephew. A niece. A neighbor. A child of your own. The "who" part doesn't matter, really.
What does matter is that you have the experience of watching someone you cherish grow up (right before your very eyes!) and step into the daylight of his own life.
Nothing else will ever mean more to you.
E-mail: acannon@desnews.com