I'm glad I'm not Jay Leno. Or Conan O'Brien. Or Jimmy Kimmel.
The three late-night hosts were put in impossible positions by the ongoing strike by the Writers Guild of America. Should they continue to stay off the air, affirming their respect for and loyalty to the striking writers?
Or should they go back to work to prevent almost 300 people who work for their shows from being fired?
"Tonight Show" host Leno, "Late Night" host O'Brien and "Jimmy Kimmel Live's" host have decided on the latter, agreeing to return to the air Tuesday, Jan. 2, whether the strike is over or not. Each man issued similar statements about why he'd come to his decision.
"Unfortunately ... I am left with a difficult decision," O'Brien said. "Either go back to work and keep my staff employed or stay dark and allow 80 people, many of whom have worked for me for 14 years, to lose their jobs."
"Now that the talks have broken down and there are no further negotiations scheduled, I feel it's my responsibility to get my 100 non-writing staff, which were laid off, back to work," Leno said.
"Though it makes me sick to do so without my writers, there are more than a hundred people whose financial well-being depends on our show. It is time to go back to work," Kimmel said.
There's precedent for their decision. NBC was quick to point out that after Johnny Carson stayed off the air for two months during the last extended Writers Guild strike in 1988, he, too, returned to work to keep his staff from losing their jobs.
Leno, O'Brien and Kimmel expressed strong support for the WGA, and there will be those who argue they're betraying the writers by going back to work. (Carson Daly — who, unlike the others, is not a member of the WGA — went back to work on NBC's "Later" earlier this month and has been criticized by union members.)
But how do you argue against them saving the 280 jobs of people who aren't independently wealthy and are suffering because they've been out of work for two months?
I'm not pretending for a moment that I can fully understand the position O'Brien, Leno and Kimmel find themselves in. But what if my decisions affected my co-workers' livelihood?
There wasn't a good answer here for Leno, O'Brien or Kimmel who are themselves employees of their networks. It really is a damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't situation.
I, for one, am not going to criticize the decision they made to put nearly 300 people back to work.
WHAT WILL Leno, O'Brien and Kimmel's shows look like when they return on Jan. 2? No prescripted monologues — other than, perhaps, a few off-the-cuff comments; no sketches; more interviews.
Given that Leno's monologues have degenerated over the years — there's nothing the man can't turn into a dirty joke — no writers might not hurt.
But he's also the worst interviewer on TV. He seems incapable of actually listening to his guests because he's so focused on the next question he's supposed to ask.
Kimmel isn't that bad, but he's still on the uphill part of the learning curve.
O'Brien may be less handicapped by these restrictions. He's a better interviewer and a quicker wit.
But who will they interview? Actors support the WGA strike and may be reluctant to cross picket lines.
As O'Brien acknowledged in his statement, "My show will not be as good. In fact, in moments it may very well be terrible. My sincerest hope is that all of my writers are back soon, working under a contract that provides them everything they deserve."
I'll second that.
DAVID LETTERMAN'S production company, Worldwide Pants, is (as of this writing) negotiating with the WGA on a deal separate from the one the writers are no longer talking with the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers for an industrywide deal.
That would put both the "Late Show With David Letterman" and "The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson" back on the air. (Letterman, not CBS, owns both shows, whereas NBC owns "Tonight" and "Late Night.")
If Worldwide Pants signs a deal, "Late Show" and "Late Late Show" would return with a full complement of writers and no picket line for actors to avoid crossing. And you've got to wonder what kind of pressure that might put on NBC.
As for Comedy Central's "The Daily Show" and "The Colbert Report," those shows rely almost entirely on scripted material so there's no way for Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert to return to work until the strike is over.
E-mail: pierce@desnews.com