As the late humorist Corey Ford once quipped, "Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend."
Improperly trained? ... That friendship can be iffy.
Recently, I read a "success story" posted online. A woman stepped between a raging pit bull and her own Alaskan Hhusky. The "70-pound mass of power and strength and teeth" had jumped a fence and was charging toward them. She commanded the dog back. He obeyed. Lucky her.
Or was it more than luck?
After all, she had picked up a thing or two about dogs on TV.
Grateful to the man on television who had inspired her action, she wrote: I'm small, and I don't know that I'd have been able to pry that pit bull's jaws from my dog's neck. Because of your teachings, I didn't have to.
Conspicuously absent: Any mention of who would've pried that pit bull's jaws from her neck had P. Bull not been so agreeable.
Apparently, she believes that 30 minutes of downtime in front of the tube is enough to safely and effectively handle animals. Do you? Better still: Would you pay this tele-trained woman $800 to train your dog?
Dog training remains one of the few unregulated service industries. Vets, doctors, nurses, lawyers — all licensed. Truck drivers, hairstylists, bartenders, CPAs ... you get the point. If you want to be paid for any of those services, for better or worse, you need a license. But you don't need one to call yourself a dog trainer. Go figure.
There are reputable trainers with decades of experience and thousands of canine and human references to support the quality, efficacy and humanity of their work, tools and techniques. When shopping for a dog trainer, that's what to look for. Tangible experience. Substantive references. A philosophy you as a dog owner agree with. Sans that, the reality is, virtually anyone can print business cards, build a Web site and poof! Dog trainer.
Americans love a quick fix. And we're wired for it. We can find love online, heal our emotional wounds with Dr. Phil and tune in later that night to get our dogs trained — all from the comfort of our living rooms. But that's not education; that's entertainment. And the point of dog training is to give your dog a real education.
So, the news is out. Trainers don't come with papers, and dogs don't come with diplomas. Yet, you've brought this new fuzzball, eyes wide, ears perked, into your home. You owe it to him, to yourself, to your sofa to get him trained.
Licensed or not, private training in your home is the most logical way to go. Where do most, if not all of the problems people encounter with their dogs occur? In the home, right?
And who lives at home? You, your dog, your other dog, your kids, your hubby, the cat. When a professional dog trainer comes to your home, everyone gets trained! Hurrah! And by the same person, with the same methodology, at the same time. Very effective. Everyone's on the same page. One happy, communicative family — except for maybe the cat.
Maybe you love the idea of a professional coming to your home to train you and your dog one-on-one but nevertheless feel intimidated by the upfront cost of hiring a private dog trainer. You're not alone. A surprising number of people opt for the least expensive way to deal with what could become a very expensive problem.
Run a mental tab of the following: recarpeting the living room, reupholstering the sofa, regrowing the grass, repairing the fence, reattaching the little toe. ... And here's a good one, replacing the $8,000 soft convertible top to your car. For that, the woman could've bought private training for herself and for everyone who says they're running for president in 2008.
Training isn't a luxury; it's a necessity. My advice: Think of it as a one-time investment that will save you a lot of money, stress and heartache in the long run.
Woof!
Dog trainer Matthew "Uncle Matty" Margolis is co-author of 18 books about dogs, a behaviorist, a popular radio and television guest, and host of the PBS series "WOOF! It's a Dog's Life!" Send your questions to dearuncle.gazetteunclematty.com or by mail to Uncle Matty at P.O. Box 3300, Diamond Springs, CA 95619. © Creators Syndicate Inc.