WILD HOGS — * 1/2 — Tim Allen, John Travolta, Martin Lawrence; rated PG-13 (vulgarity, violence, profanity, brief nudity, brief drugs); see Page W2 for theaters.
"Wild Hogs" is every bit as terrible as you'd expect a film with John Travolta, Tim Allen and Martin Lawrence to be. The only thing that prevents this road comedy from being gouge-your-eyes-out horrible is William H. Macy.
But as watchable as Macy is, there's only so much he can do with material this bad. And it's a little disheartening to see someone as talented as Macy take a back seat to these co-stars.
The four actors play college pals and amateur motorcycle enthusiasts with various midlife crises. Dentist Doug (Allen) fears he's become dull, as does henpecked husband Bobby (Lawrence). And computer programmer Dudley (Macy) can't muster up the courage to talk to a woman.
Still, they all have it better than Woody (Travolta), who's bankrupt and going through a messy divorce. It's no wonder he suggests they take a cross-country trip on their "hogs" before they get too old.
As you'd expect, their road trip is filled with mishaps, including various weather- and bug-related difficulties, as well as a run-in with a biker gang and its leader (Ray Liotta), who soon seek revenge, (Woody accidentally burned down their favorite bar).
The one promising bit here is a romance between tongue-tied Dudley and a local waitress (Marisa Tomei). It's the only part of this comic contraption that works, and, of course, it's not given much time.
Instead, director Walter Becker ("National Lampoon's Van Wilder") concentrates on less-interesting characters and throws in as much sexual and scatological humor as possible in a PG-13 film.
And a subplot about a gay motorcycle cop (John McGinley, from TV's "Scrubs") who becomes obsessed with the four friends is painfully unfunny and tasteless.
"Wild Hogs" is rated PG-13 for sexually suggestive humor and references, crude bodily function gags, some strong violence (fisticuffs, slapstick and vehicular and explosive mayhem), occasional profanity, brief male nudity and brief drug references. Running time: 100 minutes.
E-mail: jeff@desnews.com