BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. — Note to ABC Entertainment president Steve McPherson: Never tell a room full of TV critics you've got news but you're not going to tell them about it — that, instead, you're going to save that news for a fan convention.
Don't do it even if that news isn't, well, all that newsy. Or all that big a deal.
Taking questions from the gathered members of the Television Critics Association, McPherson confirmed that "Lost" producers were planning to make a "big announcement" the following day at Comic-Con, the big comic book convention 135 miles south in San Diego. (To end any, ahem, suspense, the not-so-big news is that Harold Perrineau will return to "Lost" when that show returns for its fourth season in early 2008.)
But, for a time, McPherson flatly refused to divulge what that "big announcement" would be.
"They do have some announcements that they are going to be making that I think everyone will be pretty excited about," he said.
Will you tell us what that news is?
"No," McPherson said.
He said this to a room full of people whose publications had spent a lot of money sending them to the TCA press tour in order to get news about TV, which the networks implicitly promise to provide by participating.
So you get why this wasn't the smartest thing McPherson could have done.
And the ABC executive didn't make things any better with an attempt at humor that failed utterly.
"OK, I'll give you the announcement," he said. "I started talking to him before he was available. I don't know what went on there, but I cast Don Imus on 'Lost."'
Thud.
Reiterating the point about how much all of this costs our newspapers, one critic asked McPherson, "If you are not going to tell us what it is, can you at least tell us why you are not talking to us. Are we not important enough for you, or do you just not want to talk to us?"
(I'm really not sure we really want the answer to that question.)
"It was just, you know, Comic-Con has been a place that 'Lost' has had its presence for a long time," McPherson said. "They have an announcement that (executive producers) Damon (Lindelof) and Carlton (Cuse) wanted to make at Comic-Con."
At which point the poor man was saved by an ABC publicist. The staff had gotten Lindelof on the phone, and he had given the OK for McPherson to give us the Big News.
(That would be the news about Perrinau, in case you forgot.)
McPherson was absolutely right when he said, "It's not Earth-shattering. It doesn't change the face of television."
But it was sort of astonishing that he would tell a room full of journalists he has some news, but he's not going to tell us.
IT'S NOT LIKE ALL of us asking the questions on press tour are all that swift, either. One critic was trying to beat up on McPherson because of the lack of middle-class characters in the various networks' TV shows.
"It seems that everything on TV is rich. And I'm just wondering, is there room for a show like 'Roseanne' or 'Sanford and Son'?" he asked.
You could hardly blame the ABC exec for pretty much dismissing the premise of the question — it's sort of ludicrous — but the critic would have none of it. He sounded genuinely peeved when he said, "I'm serious. Come on. Let's see some poor people on TV!"
Come on. There have always been some middle-class and poor characters on TV — there are plenty today, in shows like "My Name Is Earl," "According to Jim," "The Simpsons," "Everybody Hates Chris," "Friday Night Lights," "Heroes," "King of Queens," "King of the Hill," "The Office," "'Til Death," "Ugly Betty" and "The War at Home," just to name a few.
And, again, it's a ridiculous question. From itsearliest days, television has been about fulfilling fantasies and taking us away from our everyday lives. And doing that through the lives of rich-and-famous characters is as old as network television itself.
To suggest that this is a new phenomenon is worthy of being dismissed.
BACK TO THE BIG NEWS: Perrinau's character, Michael, exited "Lost" at the end of Season 2 and was not seen in Season 3. His son Walt (Malcolm David Kelley) was seen briefly in a vision that Locke (Terry O'Quinn) had.
Michael had made a deal with the Others for his and Walt's freedom in exchange for delivering Jack (Matthew Fox), Kate (Evangeline Lilly) and Sawyer (Josh Holloway) into their hands. Oh, and he shot and killed Ana Lucia (Michelle Rodriguez) and Libby (Cynthia Watros).
No word on how he'll return. Or whether Walt will return with him.
E-mail: pierce@desnews.com